Thursday, July 29, 2010

5:48, 5:100, 5:105, 5:119 - Surah Al-Ma'idah :)

"To you, We sent the Scripture in truth, confirming the scripture that came before it, and guarding it in safety: so judge between them by what Allah has revealed, and follow not their cain desires, diverging from the Truth that has come to you. To each among you have We prescribed a law and an Open Way. If Allah had so willed, He would have made you a single people, but (His Plan is) to test you in what He has given you: so strive as in a race in all virtues. The Goal of you all is to Allah; it is He that will show you the truth of the matters in which you dispute;"
-5:48

"Say: "Not equal are things that are bad and things that are good, even though the abundance of the bad may dazzle you; so fear Allah, O you that understand; that (so) you may prosper."
-5:100

"O you who believe! Guard your own souls: if you follow (right) guidance, no hurt can come to you from those who stray. The goal of you all is to Allah: it is He that will show you the truth of all that you do."
-5:105


"Allah will say: "This is a day on which the truthful will profit from their truth: theirs are gardens, with rivers flowing beneath - their eternal Home: Allah well-pleased with them, and they with Allah: that is the great salvation, (fulfillment of all desires)." 5:119


:)

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Yesterday..

Yesterday was expected to be all about accomplishing missions.. Apparently, it didn't JUST go about that huhu..

1st mission was to surprise my best friend on her Birthday
2nd mission was to successfully complete my phlebotomy lab practice
3rd mission was to visit the mosque in IIUM

Lets talk about my phlebotomy lab practice first. Phlebotomy is the practice of drawing blood, specifically from our main veins (cephalic vein or the median cubital vein which is located at the hinge of your elbow). At first, when i heard that we were suppose to do this, i was all freakin'ly excited!! I mean like, not just ANYBODY will get this sort of practice ya know hahaha. But the moment i got to know that we were suppose to do it on each other, i began to panic hahaha. Like me, these course mates of mine have never done this before. What if they poke too deeply into my vein? What if they rupture my vein? What if the needles are not properly sterilized? What if I injure somebody? OMG, what if I get infected by some virus thru this practice? Am I ready to put my life on the line???? hahahahhahaha so much for thinking its all fun and exciting! But then i remembered how i wanted to gain new experiences, and so I went for it anyway.

So our lecturer, AP Dr Balqis, stopped by at each lab, to demonstrate on how its being done, and of course, she needed someone to do it to. Everybody was psyched and afraid! hahahaha i was kind of nervous as well, but when i thought about Dr Balqis puncturing my vein and one of my course mates doing it to me, i would most likely prefer Dr to do it to me instead. Safer? hahahahahah and so when she arrived at our lab, I volunteered straight away.. hahahah everybody was like, "waa Yasmin, kamu sangat belaani o.." "Wow, you're so brave!" yata yata yata... but to me, they're the brave ones, for they can actually trust people who have no experience at all over a REAL doctor. I can nver do that. HAHA! :P It didn't hurt at all really, but it was the after affect that got to me. She only took like half a cm of my blood, but i felt so drained out thru out the rest of the day. I almost fainted.. huhu and yeah, i was fasting at the same time. I didn't manage to practice it on someone else though, we ran out of time. I only got to do it on the dummies they've prepared for us lol. It was an exhausting morning, but I was never wrong to think of it being fun and exciting in the first place.. because it was :) So mission was partially accomplished.

After my lab practice, i had two more classes, and then i was off on another mission of mine, which was to surprise Syahirah. There were a whole lot of complications that i had to deal with to make this one work really. A lot of changing plans here and there hahahaha and Syakirah wasn't physically here to help :(((((( But, instead, it gave me the opportunity to work with new people this time around, and syakirah was there as well, virtually :) So what actually happened was right after class, i went back to my room, got ready, took a taxi to Kg Baru LRT station, took a train to Gombak, waited for Aidzat to pick me up, picked up cupcakes from Anis, went to the mosque for maghrib prayers, picked up Zaim, tros pegi Sate Station in Setiawangsa, and that's when we surprised Syahirah from behind lol. She shouted TWICE out of pure shock!! hahahahahhahahaha that was satisfying :P And all of us had sate for dinner. After that, we smothered cupcakes on to syahirah's face, which was awesomely fun hahahaha and Aidzat sent me home :) Aside from just wanting my best friend to have a wonderful 20th birthday with the group of people that she's close with, I achieved a bit more than what i bargained for. I got to work with new people, as i've mentioned before :) I know you guys won't be reading this coz i don't think you know this blog exists anyway hahaha but thaaank you sooooo much, firstly to Aidzat, for supporting me and the whole crazy idea, for offering your help to fetch me and send me straight to UKM, and simply for being there hehe :) I appreciate and am grateful for it all (okay, i wanna say it here, but i'm trying my very very BEST to hold back since its on my blog and like.. pda-ing is not cool in our terms.. but like.. i dont really care.. but like.. i have to care.. blergh hahaha you know what goes here la kan haha so thats good enough :P) :) To Syakirah, although you weren't there physically, but you were pretty much involved in the whole planning process, and I'm glad that you're part of it too or else it wouldn't be as perfect huhuhu i miss you a whole lot sya :(( Next, to ANIS!!! hahahahahha oh emm gee, like, you're such a funny gal to hang out with hahahahha seriously BEST! and gosh BABE, i couldn't have done it without u, and im serious!!!! Thanx a lot!! Qiqi, thank you for the dinner and for helping out as well lol. I wish i could get to know you more, all the best in life!! haha :D Zaim, goodness, hahaha i have to say this, you TALK EXACTLY LIKE SYA. I'M NOT KIDDING!!! hahahahaha it must be the similar set of teeth hahahahah!!! kidding! :P thank you for coming, it was nice chatting with u and stuff lol :P Hanif, although you couldn't make it, but you did bring home Syahirah just in time, and THAT WAS THE PART i was worried the most!! hahahahha thank you for doing so! :D And last but not least, Thank you Allah, for making this possible, for giving me the chance to make my best friend feel special and for giving me the opportunity to meet these wonderful people. Alhamdulillah.. 2nd mission, accomplished :)

Through out accomplishing the two missions i had written about previously, in the midst of it, deep down in my heart, I had a mission of my own. Not one that was assigned for me, nor was it for someone else. But this mission was for me. My heart. And that was to visit IIUM's mosque. Reason being, I just wanted to see how it was, how the environment was, considering IIUM is the international Islamic University and all. True, I was expecting more of an architectural amazement. But that was not the only thing that i got. The moment i stepped inside the Mosque's plaza, i was amazed by how everything actually revolves around the mosque. All the faculties (kuliyyah), the main facilities, everything was revolved around the mosque. I couldn't stop gazing at every single detail of what was put in my sight. It was simply beautiful huhu. As I entered the mosque itself, I saw another part of it which was beside the woman's praying area, and that area was lighted, with so many people walking around. That place was alive.. MasyaAllah.. simply breath taking. When I was about to take my wudu', groups of girls were sitting in a circle, breaking their fast together.. Not to mention, the bilik wudu' itself amazed me, not because it was beautifully crafted, but because there were people in there, filling up the empty spaces.. huhuhu.. btw, it was 7:50 ish when i reached there, so it wasn't really a peak time for people to go to the mosque. Selepas selesai ambil wudu', i went upstairs again, back to the praying area.. while putting on my telekung, getting ready for solat, i noticed the people around me, and that there were many different kinds of people in there. From many different places. Speaking their own languages, discussing their own fields of His knowledge. And yet despite these differences that they all had, despite the personal agendas all of us had that night, at that moment, we were all gathered for one cause, and that was to solat for Him. And for once, amongst these strangers, I felt soo secure and safe from everything huhu I felt protected, by Him.. MasyaAllah.. Only He knows how i felt at that time. Even i don't have the words to describe it.. I wish i didn't have to leave that moment.. huhu.. My heart was touched, not only by how things were constructed, but by how most of the people there made that place a main thing in their daily lives.. By how regardless of their differences, deep down in their hearts, it is the love for Allah that unites them.. Magnificent mosques are being built in so many places here in Malaysia, but only a number are being brought alive.. And after so long have I seen one that is being brought alive without that day being a special occasion (tarawikh, solat jumaat, etc.).. Ya Allah.. What I saw, and what I gained that night was sacredly beautiful, and I am grateful to You for giving me the opportunity to witness this as well. You know whats best for us all.. huhu.. Mission 3, accomplished as well, alhamdulillah :)

And so, yesterday was not just about accomplishing missions, yesterday meant a whole lot more.. :)

Thursday, July 22, 2010

One thing about me

One thing about me, I take people's words seriously. If it were a statement, or an opinion, true, I won't bluntly believe what they say, but i take them seriously. I'll think about it, and reconsider my own perspectives. That is how I learn. That is how i understand.

But words like that aren't the case for this morning. It's the 'Yes's and 'No's. Agreements. Decisions. I go by them strictly. That's how I work, professionally, that is how I build my own trust towards somebody, personally. And this is something, those who will have me in their life for quite a time, professionally or personally, should know.

Why? For one thing, I may not be a I-know-what-i'll-be-doing-in-10-years kind of person (if you read thru my older posts, you'll know this by HEART now hahah :P), but I am quite the planner for whats to happen the next day, or the next hour, or the next minute. And usually, i keep my itinerary full. If you ask me today, what i'll be doing tomorrow, I can give you a full detailed schedule for it. Make no mistake about that. And so, if you've decided with me to do certain things in the future, and you've agreed to what we've planned, I would expect highly for you to keep to your words. For example, if you're working with me, and you told me you'll be handing in your part to me at 10am thru my e-mail, I'll be waiting for that. I'll make an effort to spare my 10 minutes to go thru my e-mails at that time. If you're my mother, and you told me that you'll be taking me to the grocery store at 2pm, and that it'll only take us 2 hours to do the shopping, i'll be waiting for that, and i'll be waiting for it to end exactly after two hours of doing so. If you're my best friend, and you told me you'll be e-mailing me, or post a blog post, i'll spare and make an effort to check. I'll be waiting. Especially when the words come from those whom I love. So I'll be counting on these words to be fulfilled or else my whole day would be topsy turvy. I can compensate, I can tolerate, and I would always make sure that it wouldn't burden anybody before you truly agree. I would always ask, "Are you sure it'll be okay for you?" or "Are you sure this won't burden you?", I'll make the effort to lessen one's burden.. But the moment you say yes, and the decision HAS been made, I'll take them seriously. That is how i am.

So, that's more on a professional basis. Personally, words give me hope. Words are promises. And words, is my weakness. That's how I can get hurt so badly. By words. And that is how I built bridges of trust, thru words. I don't expect much from people. If you know me in person, or as someone who's close to you, i think its fair for me to say that I can tolerate a lot, and I will tolerate, a lot, especially when it comes to my love ones. So yea, i don't expect you to lavish me with all that you have, to impress me, to do things for me. I don't expect my dad to buy me a car, I don't expect my mom to cook for me when i come home, I don't expect my best friends to buy me things, I don't expect my significant other to put me first before anything else, no. The only thing that I expect highly, would be to keep to your words. And who sets the level of expectation? Not me. You.

So what happens when you dont keep to your words? Simple, you'll frustrate me. You'll hurt me. You'll break me into pieces. Yea, one or two times or three times or four times, i may still handle it. But i'm human, and my heart tires. And you don't want my heart to tire on you if you want me to still be around, happily.. huhu.

So yea, that's one thing about me.

A Message

My song is love
Love to the loveless shown
And it goes on
You don't have to be alone
Your heavy heart
Is made of stone
And it's so hard to see you clearly
You don't have to be on your own
You don't have to be on your own

And I'm not gonna take it back
And I'm not gonna say, "I don't mean that"
You're the target that I'm aiming at
Got to get that message home

My song is love
My song is love, unknown
But I'm on fire for you, clearly
You don't have to be alone
You don't have to be on your own

And I'm not gonna take it back
And I'm not gonna say, "I don't mean that"
You're the target that I'm aiming at
And I'm nothing on my own
Got to get that message home

And I'm not gonna stand and wait
Not gonna leave it until it's much too late
On a platform I'm gonna stand and say
That I'm nothing on my own
And I love you, please come home

My song is love, is love unknown
And I've got to get that message home

-coldplay-

Here's to the similar brain :)
ps: Freakin' LOVE COLDPLAY!!

Sad Eyes

Southern style
Things are slow
You're watching all the speeding cars
Moving like you wish you could
But oh, it's too bad
‘Cause they drove away your happiness and good times
But I'm gonna get you into the light
And I'm gonna find a way that is right
And I'm gonna get you into the light
Make it okay

Sad eyes
You are the only one
Who's, who's blue skies are grey
So don't cry
You'll be the only one
To make them go away

You're so young and so bored
You were staying out till late
Cause it was what your husband hated
But oh it's too bad
Cause he´s stolen all your happiness and good times
But I'm gonna get you into the light
And I'm gonna find a way that is right
And I'm gonna get you into the light
Make it okay

Sad eyes
You are the only one
Who's, who's blue skies are grey
So don't cry
You'll be the only one
To make them go away
Yeah you could make them go away

Took a lot of tears
But oh you had to find those
Sympathetic years
The ones you left behind him

And I'm gonna get you into the light
And I'm gonna find a way that is right
And I'm gonna get you into the light
And make it okay

Sad eyes
You are the only one
Who's, who's blue skies are grey
So don't cry
You'll be the only one
To make them go away
Yeah you could make them go away

- Josh Rouse-

I'll never forget this.. :)

All at Sea

I'm all at sea
Where no-one can bother me
Forgot my roots
If only for a day
Just me and my thoughts sailing far away
Like a warm drink it seeps into my soul
Please just leave me right here on my own
Later on you could spend some time with me
If you want to
All at sea
I'm all at sea
Where no-one can bother me
I sleep by myself
I drink on my own
Don't speak to nobody
I gave away my phone
Like a warm drink it seeps into my soul
Please just leave me right here on my own
Later on you could spend some time with me
If you want to
All at sea
Now I need you more than ever, I need you more than ever, now
You don't need it every day
But sometimes don't you just crave
To disappear within your mind
You never know what you might find
So come and spend some time with me
We will spend it all at sea
Like a warm drink it seeps into my soul
Please just leave me right here on my own
Later on you could spend some time with me
If you want to
All at sea

-Jamie Cullum-


I used to listen to this again and again during my time in Kedah,
exactly how I felt most of the time there lol :)

Jar of Hearts

No I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I would have missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are

-Christina Peri-

Thursday, July 15, 2010

A morning thought..

"Kito nia en, kalau kongkawan nak golak2 with, mmg raaamai. Buleh laa kau golak sini, sano, sampai dunio pon tak dapek nak ingat lai en? Tapi, bilo kau nanges.. You would always cry alone. The most any other person can do pon, is to ask, "whats wrong? are you okay?".. "

"Papopun, family paling penting, sobab dio sonang jo. Bilo kau mati nanti, yang tanam kau family kau jugak. All these other people can do is to come, and say "Apa jadi eh? Smalam den tgk slamat jo laie.. tak tosangko dek den do bondo nia nak jadi.. "... "

"Lepas ni, kau terus blaja je lagi, saaaaaaampai habes! Dah habes degree ni, cari lagi. Blaja lagi, poie moghato2 tompek. Den takdo nak kesah do.. Poie laa.. Allah dah bagi dunia yang luas ni, it would be a waste to be narrow minded, and to live stagnant at one place..."

"Bagi Ayah eh, org yang pergi africa kaji animals, org macam kat national geography tu, even though they might not be earning a lot, but trust me, they're enjoying their work, coz they're doing something they love. Ayah tau kau ni bukan jenis yang duduk kat meja, terima kertas patu sign.. Tapo do, den tak kesah, janji ekau poie buek apo ekau suko.. "

"Kadang ayah tengok yang muda2 ni patu kawen, rugi amek. Especially to the girl. Pani die mesti sebok nak jaga anak la, itu la, ini la. Mmg sampai situ je la life dia.."

"Ayah sebenarnya menyesal tak habeskan blaja.. sampai hari ni menyesal. Who knows, kalau ayah habes blaja, ntah2 ayah dah bley jadi CEO semua.. But walaupun ayah ada degree je, I was very lucky to be given the opportunity to do something that i love, and i managed to excel in it. Not everybody is as lucky as me. You might not be as lucky.. "

"Anyone who puts their mind to do something, will get it done. Trust me.. "

and while he was blabbering away, i didn't say a word.. Not because i was not listening, or was not agreeing to what he was saying. But i was taking each word in and was touched by how much he knows me, how much he knows the kind of thing that i want to do when I have yet to even tell him or share with him my future plans.

To me, life is simple. It is. Easy or difficult, thats for you to evaluate on your own, but it is truthfully simple. Everybody, since young, has been taught to have an ambition. To have dreams. And a successful life on Earth would be when you reach that dream and that you're happy about it. Be it to be a garbage truck driver, or a wall painter, or a musician, or a doctor, if thats your dream, its worth your whole life to strive for.

The community has always been very judgmental when it comes to success. Its something i've noticed quite recently. To most of us Asians, Malaysians in particular, success would mean to be a doctor, an architect, a lawyer, an accountant, an engineer, a CEO of a company, someone who earns BIG MONEY, who possess a lot of things. And for those who does not own much, have always been labeled as being unfortunate. Well, read my lips. thats FUCKIN' BULLSHIT right there, straight from the oven lol.

I used to be very judgmental too, until I went to the UK recently, and that opened my eyes. True, most of them were in coats, working on daily shifts with briefcases and what not. But what amazed me was not these people, but their taxi drivers, their construction workers, their farmers, their cashiers. These people were with a job, i once thought was so-so, but they're not Indon workers. They're all English people. Good looking, English people. Those whom we usually look up to. Or i would look up to. Those whom I've always thought have the opportunity to go greater heights, and yet they're doing those things. Not only that, they looked very happy while doing it, very careful, very friendly. Base line, they were happy. I'm not saying that being those things were what they've always dreamt of being. But what if it is? What if its a stepping stone for better things to come? What if to them, its more than enough? Does it mean they're unsuccessful just because they're doing something the community thinks is not much?

I came back home after that, and i was in the car, and i saw our locals doing the same thing, and then i thought to myself. A person with a jacket and a briefcase, may earn a whole lot of money, may earn better acceptance from the community, but someone like that can never experience what those who washes the drains every morning are experiencing, and that is simply true valuable achievement right there.

So, with all this, i've concluded a few things.

1. Life is simple. Easy or difficult, that's for us to decide on our own.
2. Nobody is unfortunate, except for those who are not grateful
3. Success in life is measured by you yourself, and not the community, not your family, not your husband or wife. Just you.
4. And nothing is more successful in life than reaching your own satisfaction, living with pure happiness..

My future visions were clouded recently. Its written all over in my past posts lol. But I think i have a sturdy one now, which I shall strive for till the very last word of my book.. and that is to gain as much experience, and as much understanding of this world as i can. Be it an experience to live with the aborigines, or robbing a bank haha!, or walk near a volcano, or go to space, I want to experience these things :) Like my father told me, Allah has given us a huge platform to perform. It would be a waste to leave one tiny bit undiscovered.. :)

and ps: I love my father :)