Do you know that feeling?

Do you know that feeling?
The one where you want something to happen so badly
You get yourself prepared for it
Put everything else aside,
But in the end,
It does not happen,
and its because of something you can't control,
its because others just dont choose to play that part you want him or her to play,
and it just does not happen?
And when you tell people,
they'll go, "Dont worry, mesti ada hikmah"..
True.. mesti ada, and even you know it,
but u can't help yourself but to want to slap that person's face
for being so optimistic,
and feeling good,
when at that freaking moment,
you can't feel as good as that person..
And whatever the hikmah is,
that bitter feeling of wanting to just throw everything around the house
is still there.
Burning.

Do you know that feeling?
Where you tell yourself that its the little things that matters,
So just be happy with it,
but when LITTLE things do start to matter,
some just ticks you off,
and how you wish it to not matter so much to you,
how you wish you can be composed about it,
but its too late,
coz it all matters now..?

Do you know that feeling?
When you're so assure about something,
like so sure!
like you KNOW you like the colour green,
and all of a sudden,
the next morning you wake up,
green seems dull and boring,
that assurance just vaporizes itself like that,
leaving you at a state of lost,
you just lose it,
like youre floating,
and confused?
and demotivated..
and you have all this time in your hands,
to work on fuckin something,
but you dont do anything,
because you DONT FEEL like you want to,
you just DONT KNOW what exactly that you want to do,
and at the same time you're frustrated that you're wasting all this time you have...
FUCK

Do you know these feelings?
Well, I fuckin' hate them.
All of it.
Let me tell you something about me.
As much as i appear strong,
and want to believe that i am stone-cold,
and all cool and lenient..
who's jovial,
smile whenever,
quiet and composed,
crack jokes,
matured (pfftt who am i joking?)
I'm fragile.
I break.
And all this stress from practically,
EVERYWHERE..
its killing me.

Urghhh...

Disheartened - An original piano impromptu by Me :)

One of my darkest tunes, i'd say lol. I was just randomly playing, and this came out, hence, the impromptu part in the title :) I've been under quite a load of stress lately, and i guess this particular piece was interpreting all of that haha. Here's to stress! :P enjoy!

Crossing paths with Alexi Murdoch

Have you heard of this talented singer before? I've known of him for years, but he's been appearing more than usual in my life recently lol, his songs i mean, not him :P and so this post shall be a whole tribute to him :) I love his songs. They're relaxing, and his voice is just dope! I'm not kidding.. It gets you floating.. it really does.. especially if you're a girl hahaha! :) and it totally suits the melody that goes with it... I personally love listening to his songs while i'm taking a steady jog, or a bus ride, alone.. :) Enjoy! :)




If y'all a real steel fan, this might sound familiar :) But really, its been around for years already.. This would be my personal favourite from him :) Totally love his guitar playing huhu..




This would be about a father who has just passed away i think. I love the lyrics to it.. Felt it to the deepest core alright huhu :)



Totally love the peculiar progressions he uses in this song. It sounded weird at first, but,, when it comes together, everything just makes sense lol.. Gahh, i wish i could play the guitar like he can..



Imagine listening to this, while u're cruisin' on the highway, at night, with your window half down, and the moon shining brightly above you.. Don't forget to breathe folks ;)



This reminds me of New York.. huhu, kayh, lets not talk about or i'll get all emotional.. hahaha :)



And this was the background ending music to the movie "Gone Baby Gone", which would be personally my 2nd favourite from him :)

To those who celebrates deepavali, Happy Deepavali!!! Perhaps these tunes ain't the upbeat songs for such a celebration lol, but ah well, hope y'all enjoy them anyway ;)

Just like glass i see right through you and your parade of excuses

How can I find you
When you're always hiding from yourself
Playing hide and seek with me
Till it gets too dark
Too dark, inside your shell
Why do I even try
When you take me for granted?
I should know better by now
When you call I already hear that crashing sound
As it all falls down

I watch your spirit break
As it shatters into a million pieces
Just like glass I see right through you
And your parade of excuses
Feels like groundhog day
You say the same things over and over
There's that look in your eye
And I hear that crashing sound
As it all falls down

It's never too late to turn it back around
Yeah I know you can
Don't bury your demons deep in the ground
When it all falls down
The only way is up, up, up
The only way is up, up

It's your love that's strong
It's the only thing that keeps me holding on
It's your heart that's weak
But it's not too weak to bring you back to me

Being polite is getting us nowhere now..

One more time
sitting in a silent stare
and I'm the only one that's here
Let's just get it all out
Gimme every single word
even if it's gonna hurt...

Cuz too many nights
falling asleep
with all of these doubts
stuck in between us
being polite is getting us nowhere now...

so let's just fight
maybe you could find some tears
and I could feel something real again
you and i know we need to figure this out
tell me is it too late now...

So if you wanna stay, just stay
if you wanna go, if you wanna go
just go
So if you wanna stay, just stay
if you wanna go, if you wanna go
just go
go far away, go far away...

We built too much just to stand and watch it fall apart...
It hurts too much just to stay the way we are...

hmm :)

Till I collapse

'Cause sometimes you just feel tired,
Feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up.
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
And just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up
And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.

Till I collapse I’m spilling these raps long as you feel 'em
Till the day that I drop you'll never say that I'm not killing them
'Cause when I am not then I'ma stop penning 'em
And I am not hip-hop and I’m just not Eminem.
Subliminal thoughts when I'm stop sending them women are caught in webs spin and hauk venom
Adrenaline shots of penicillin could not get the illing to stop.
Amoxacilin is just not real enough.
The criminal cop killing hip-hop filling minimal swap to cop millions of Pac listeners.
Your coming with me, feel it or not you’re gonna fear it like I showed you the spirit of god lives in us.
You hear it a lot, lyrics the shock is it a miracle or am I just a product of pop fizzing up.
For shizzle my whizzle this is the plot listen up you bizzles forgot slizzle does not give a fuck.

Music is like magic there’s a certain feeling you get when you're real
And you spit and people are feeling your shit.
This is your moment and every single minute you spend trying to hold onto it
'cause you may never get it again.
So while you’re in it try to get as much shit as you can
And when your run is over just admit when it's at its end.
'Cause I'm at the end of my wits with half this shit that gets in.
I got a list here's the order of my list that it's in.
It goes, Reggie, Jay-Z, Tupac and Biggie, Andre from OutKast, Jada, Kurupt, Nas and then me.
But in this industry I'm the cause of a lot of envy, so when I’m not put on this list the shit does not offend me.
That's why you see me walk around like nothing's bothering me.
Even though half you people got a fucking problem with me.
You hate it but you know respect you’ve got to give me
The press's wet dream like Bobby and Whitney. Nate hit me.

Soon as a verse starts I eat it at MC’s heart
What is he thinking? How not to go against me? Smart.
And it's absurd how people hang on every word.
I’ll probably never get the props I feel I ever deserve
But I’ll never be served my spot is forever reserved
If I ever leave earth that would be the death of me first.
'Cause in my heart of hearts I know nothing could ever be worse.
That’s why I’m clever when I put together every verse
My thoughts are sporadic, I act like I’m an addict
I rap like I’m addicted to smack like I’m Kim Mathers.
But I don’t want to go forth and back in constant battles
The fact is I would rather sit back and bomb some rappers.
So this is like a full blown attack I’m launching at them
The track is on some battling raps who want some static
'Cause I don’t really think that the fact that I’m Slim matters
A plaque of platinum status is whack if I'm not the baddest.

Till the roof comes off, till the lights go out
Till my legs give out, can’t shut my mouth.
Till the smoke clears out - am I high? Perhaps
I'ma rip this shit till my bone collapse.
Till the roof comes off, till the lights go out
Till my legs give out, can’t shut my mouth.
Till the smoke clears out and my high burn out
I'ma rip this shit till my bone collapse.

-eminem-

Real Steel got some bad ass soundtracks aightt...

Till I collapse - Eminem



The Enforcer - 50 Cent



Fast lane - Bad Meets Evil ft. Eminem, Royce Da 5'9



Why Try - Limp Bizkit



Give it a go - Timbaland



One Man Army - The Prodigy and Tom Morello



Celldweller - The Wings of Icarus

:)

A Saturday beautifully spent :)

Sometimes

Sometimes,
when incapability and confusion hits you,
you'd think you could overcome it,
and so you try to,
and try,
and try,
until you're just drained.
until all thats left is a feeling of uselessness,
drilling into that heart of urs.

Sometimes,
you say things in public to not only share with people,
to not only inspire people,
But to just put it out there,
to make it real,
to remind YOURSELF,
how things are,
or should be,
or how you want it to be.
When truth is,
its all just talking.
When the truth is,
u're not even sure if its true..
You just wanna be sure that it is.
You just wanna believe,
so you put it out there..
and so you hope that it is..
you have faith that it is..
giving urself a kind of assurance,

But assurance waivers..
it flickers.

and
when all assurance fade,
you tend to lose sight of your purpose.
and so you wander around looking for it.

They say failure is not when you fall,
its when you fall and you can't get back up.

These two feet are just tired
The heart is just exhausted.

Answers - An original piano composition by Yasmin

Hey you guys! This would be the latest original that i've come up with yesterday. Some say its inspiring, some say its sad. See, one thing thats magical about instrumentals is that they tend to describe things that words fail to, and i believe this particular piece depicts how i feel deep inside, and its up to you to judge how that really is lol :)

I've inserted pictures to the vid as well. Pictures of paintings i took at a relative's of mine in Singapore. He paints them himself, and will be selling them for more than 5K per piece. I admire his talent and his courage to pursue with what he's passionate about the most. I hope he'll never stop painting regardless of whatever..

Said and Done

My current addiction huhu.
And he played this piece perfectly.
How i wish i could come up with something like this..
I do think i'm quite close to it though..
hmm :)

Merapu jap :P

I was suppose to attend this photography session this morning,
but i guess i was just not in the mood to dress up,
and so i skipped it,
and had my own photography session hahahaha
tadaa!!!

vain tahap max,
i know.

But see, u don't really NEED to dress up to have a photo taken.
or even take a bath for that matter....
(.......ehee~.......)
and you still look finneeeeee
(HAHAHAHA!!)

I mean,
Code 2 kot! Gile malassss weyh..
lagi2 hari yang tade class..
pemalas tahap max Yasmin ni,
i know

But, SO WHAT if i am..
I'm just satisfied with the decision that i made
and thats what matters in life..

Life ain't much about what you do,
ain't much about who you are.
Its about that feeling you get after you've decided on something,
its about what you feel towards who you are.

Lemme give you an example,
or exampleS rather.
Lee is a business man,
and he has all the money that he wants in this world,
and yet he feels empty.
making all of whatever he has
worthless.

Abu is a doctor.
Everybody looks up to him, finds him noble,
intelligent,
kind hearted.
He earns enough,
yet he feels drained,
he's depressed,
and when everybody thinks he's living his life,
nobody knows that whenever he gets home,
the first thing he'll do is to watch reruns of Cake Boss on AFC,
thinkin' of how he regretted not being bold enough to pursue his dreams..
how he regretted not choosing to be a chef than a doctor,
when he was offered such an option years back.

Donte is a fishmonger.
He works in smelly markets,
selling fish of different kinds.
He doesn't earn much.
People look down on him.
When truth is,
with the job he has,
he gets to make trips to the sea,
experience the underwater world
see things people dont see everyday,
and he just loves it.
He's passionate about it.
He knows every kind of fish there is.
Even the insignificant scales on the fish seem remarkable to him.
And regardless of what people may say,
what people may think of him,
he is satisfied with who he is,
and what he does for a living.
And although things aren't always comfortable,
things aren't always easy,
but at the very least,
these hardships he goes thru,
they're all WORTH IT
It drives him to be better
And it makes him feel good.

Now tell me,
which life would you rather have?
:)

I used to think of things that way.
I used to think that a successful life,
is a life full of right choices.
Right by other people's terms.
But in truth,
YOUR life is not about others.
its about YOU.
And whats right for you,
would be something that would make you feel better in the end,
would be something that would drive you to be better,
something that would give you satisfaction,
and happiness.
You come first before others,
because at the end of the day,
you'll be feeling it all.
Not these people.

Sometimes,
you dont have these options.
or so you think.
When truth is
its not about having options,
its about making your own options.
and when there's a will,
there's always a way.

So if you feel good at doing art rather than being an engineer,
DO ART.
If you feel like wearing a pink shirt today than the normal black,
WEAR THAT PINK SHIRT.
and in my case,
if you dont feel like going to a photography session,
don't go.
ahaha

Panjang merapu ni hahaha.. Have an awesome tuesday everybody :)
and i should be takin' my bath now.. lol :P

and its alright :)

seven shooting stars in one night
the water and sand in our eyesight
the rocks in our hands preparing for flight
the lack of sleeping but it's alright

and it's all
and it's all
and it's all
and it's alright

*might be changin the background music of this blog to this song reallll soooon lol ;)*

Free to believe what is real to me :)

This song never fail to inspire me :)

Surah Al-Zilzal

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

1. When the earth is shaken to her (utmost) convulsion,

2. And the earth throws up her burdens (from within),

3. And man cries (distressed): 'What is the matter with her?'-

4. On that Day will she declare her tidings:

5. For that thy Lord will have given her inspiration.

6. On that Day will men proceed in companies sorted out, to be shown the deeds that they (had done).

7. Then shall anyone who has done an atom's weight of good, see it!

8. And anyone who has done an atom's weight of evil, shall see it.

I'll do it all over again..

Khairul Asyraf Zulkifli
:)