The Heart

The heart.
The heart is one complicated organ I tell you,
One that gives life to the rest,
as it delivers essential needs so the rest can be at its best.

And its beats signal life,

as it goes lub dub,

lub dub,
lub dub...


Stop.

Stop heart, enough,
Stop from beating for once,
For as long as you pump blood through these veins,
You're making me feel all these excruciating pain.

By your first beat you made me cry my lungs out,
As i entered the world making mama all worn out,
And after 23 years you're still at it again,
Making me feel pain, pain, and pain on repeat without a bend.

You make me feel pain as i look at my people,
Desperate for the world uptil they're willing to hurt other people,
They betray, they lie, they steal, they stab,
I dont wanna raise my child in a world that's gone mad.

You make me feel pain as i look at myself,
Getting knocked down again and again with a hand hanging by a shelf,
Yet im still trying to climb up and reach for the sky,
Even though pain has poked both of my eyes.

Heart, you make me feel torn in confusion,
And create uncertainties and delusions,
Have i not been nice to you heart?
Why are you being so damn fuckin hard?

They say breathe Yasmin and calm down,
But couldn't they see the more i breathe the closer i get myself to the ground?
So if thats where i'm going, might as well i just go there now?
Saves time, saves space, don't you think so, pal?

These feelings you've created,
They're like countless of hurricanes tearing my insides as they all mustered,
Mustered into toxic paste contained in a jar,
A jar of explosives that can win a world war.

But perhaps,
......
Just perhaps,
.......................
to win a war,
that is why you make me feel them,
To create these jars so that i can use them,
So i can win my own wars with stronger defined purposes,
So i can carry up high, with pride, broadcasting to the world, my emblem.

This emblem that represents me for me,
Represents me, my stand, and what i'm fighting for,
And i'm fighting for what i believe in deeply,
Regardless of how many times i fall.

And if thats the case then you know what,
Don't ever stop pumpin, heart,
And pain, oh u bastardly pain,
Poke my eyes out, take away my limbs,
Tear my insides, incinerate my skin,
For, heart, i guess with all this pain,
you'll indirectly supply me strength from within.

And if pain gives me strength,
and if strength is what i need to get thru one pain,
if strength is what i need to end one pain before i jump into another,
And if life's gonna be circling that way,
this way as I've gathered,
Then pour me with all the pain that you have,
Prepare me heart with strength for every second that you'll beat,
And until that day you've decided to give up on me,
I will try my best to never give up on me, too.

Coz we both know that those beats you beat,
they signal life.
My life, as it flows within

and them beats,

They're for me.

And they're for nobody else but me.

I've been wanting to write..

I've been wanting to write,
For oh so long,
I've been wanting to write,
But these words kept on comin' out wrong.

But heck,
Now that i have 30 minutes to kill,
Imma just let these fingers of mine,
type at its own free will.

Thoughts and images,
oh how they were crowding my mind,
Too many thoughts and images,
They had fucked the peace that was once mine.

How determination can instantly crumble,
By sources of negativity thats not even worth the gamble,
How motivation dies out when you need it the most,
Leaving you floating adrift like a pathetic ghost.

And then the heart was burdened,
By a mission to search for lost purposes and passion,
Passion that was once burning,
Until recently?
Its not even glowing.

But hey, i'm not here to fret nor complain,
I'm here to show y'all out there
that with pain,
you'll somehow gain.

Because regardless of how
whatever shit may pull you to a downfall,
These hardships give you stronger and sheer reasons
to wanna get thru it all.

You might right now be on your knees
trying to push yourself up,
Got yourself 2 inches above the ground,
and then you get slammed back down

Slammed back down,
yea slammed back down,
got your lips chipped, nose bled,
as you're constantly being slammed back down.

But here's where the magic begins,
For this girl is no quitter,
coz the more times i'm down,
the stronger i feel to wanna be up and do better

and thats when purpose starts burning in your heart again,
and when infinite strength pumps in your veins so you can mend,
Mend those tired and exhausted bones to be firm and strong,
To give this the push it needs so you can say so long.

So long, farewell,
Adios amigo,
Dont be too comfortable at where youre at,
Coz demons of mine, its about time u go.

And before you know it,
2 inches becomes a foot,
a foot becomes 5,
and alas you'll be standing back up,
taller than before, stronger than before,
with your head held up high.

Shit happens in life,
Everybody knows it,
But sometimes what everbody fails to do,
is to embrace the fact that they happen, too.

And there's nobody but themselves
that should be most grateful of their own existence,
that shouldn't be wasting away opportunities to greatness,
that should stand up for what they believe in, despite whatever madness.

Coz imma tell u now,
i ain't gonna give up,
I ain't gonna give up,
and
I ain't gonna give up.

And that imma fight thru
I'mma fight thru,
and if you're facing the same shit,
You should fight thru, too.