We're Made to Float in Deep Waters

It was during that one swimming session I had in Winter,

when the chills that ran down my spine were not caused by the icy waters,

but by the words that came from the mouth of the instructor,

telling me to swim in the deep end of 12 meters.

From the shallow end i could see it glaring in the darkest blue,

Staring back at me like it'll devour me,

that it churned my bladder to pee,

I could hear my heart screaming for the loo.

Like horror movies these thoughts were playing at the back of my mind

The thought of me sinking,

the thought of bitter chlorinated water flooding my fragile lungs,

like The Niagara hitting a lost boat with no mercy of any kind.

Worried, scared, nervous, you name it,

troubled, distracted, demotivated, exhausted,

You name it and i'd experienced it.

I'd experienced it all,

and even before i began,

i've already felt the downfall.

Fearing it like it was to really happen,

Fearing it like doomnation was what's destined.

From the shallow end i could see my nightmares waiting for me straight ahead,

So I panicked and search for comfort and at that time the coach instructor was the only one i had.

I told him, "Sir, Sir, I'm worried and scared.

What if everything turns really really bad?"

My coach chuckled, smiled, and grip my shoulders,

With his italian accent he spoke of words that matter,

It felt like I was Michael Corleone and he was the Godfather.

He said,"Dyaasemin, 

we humans were created to float in deep waters.

All you gotto to do is relax and stay focus.

It may be 12 meters under, but there's a gazzilion meters more of air above us.

And it dont matter if you're in a depth of 4 or 12 meters,

the surface is always of the same level and thats the level you'll be swimming,

coz we're created to float in deep waters."

What he said was all a blabber,

A confused 11 year old child i became,

my worries worsened.

But what stuck was that we'll float in deep waters,

So i pushed off from the banks of the pool

and trusted his words for i have options of no other.

I swam like nobody's business,

My mind wanted to play scenes of great white sharks,

Ghouls and ghosts of the sea,

Alligators,

Pirahnas, 

But sir told me to focus,

and so i sentenced them thoughts in exile,

and focused on whats happening.

1, 2, breathe..

1, 2, breathe..

I kept telling myself to 1, 2, breathe..

1, 2, the bluish colour of the water is so pretty, breathe,

1, 2, i'm a beautiful mermaid, breathe,

1, 2, uu i can see my shadow on the pool floor, following me, breathe.

And before you know it, I was actually having fun, breathe.

And before you know it, I've reached to the other end, breathe.

At the age of 11 was when all this happened,

and it took 12 years after to realise the greater meaning of this whole incident.

We are often scared of the deep waters,

of Great White overdued bills sharking our eyeballs in bold red ink,

of intimidating expectations haunting our dreams and free will,

of nasty snapping alligators that could snap our limbs in the name of betrayal and lies,

of this thing we call love, that may seem everything lovely in our eyes,

but once shattered would create shards as sharp as the teeth of pirahnas,

tearing our hearts into unmended pieces of a vendetta.

We are often scared of the deep waters,

worried by the what ifs,

distracted by pain and anger,

that we tie these burden on to our ankles,

And so we submerge ourselves into torturing depths,

with our arms waving hard above our heads,

waving to reach for the surface,

the light above would only seem like a tiny dot of unpromised hope,

that it haunts us with thoughts of merry-ness and a comforting home.

And with the last bit of air we have left in our lungs,

our unfocused mind choose to panic and rant,

trying to understand this animosity and excruciating pant,

thinking that that would help when it wouldn't,

we're too focused on the motion of submerging,

too focused on sinking,

that we forget.

We forget that God has prepared us with everything that we need,

We forget that we're made to float in deep waters,

and all we have to do is relax and focus.

Keep counting the steps to the top,

appreciating what each level would offer,

coz trust me it'll make your heart hop.

Hop with joy and gratefulness,

that without you knowing it, you've breach the tip of the surface.

And thats when you break free with a wide smile on your face,

taking your breath of fresh air like it was your first.

And if it wasn't for these deep waters,

this sudden joy we feel will never be ours.

So be patient when you're going thru it.

For at the end of the day,

we know we're made to float in deep waters,

and together,

we will float in deep waters.