Thursday, September 29, 2011

Surah Al-Insan

In the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, Most Merciful

1. Has there not been over man a period of time, when he was nothing to be mentioned?

2. Verily, We have created man from Nutfah drops of mixed semen (discharge of man and woman), in order to try him, so We made him hearer, seer.

3. Verily, We showed him the way, whether he be grateful or ungrateful.

4. Verily, We have prepared for the disbelievers iron chains, iron collars, and a blazing Fire.

5. Verily, the Abrar (pious, who fear Allah and avoid evil), shall drink a cup (of wine) mixed with water from a spring in Paradise called Kafur.

6. A spring wherefrom the slaves of Allah will drink, causing it to gush forth abundantly.

7. They (are those who) fulfill (their) vows, and they fear a Day whose evil will be wide-spreading.

8. And they give food, inspite of their love for it (or for the love of Him), to Miskin (poor), the orphan, and the captive,

9. (Saying): "We feed you seeking Allah's Countenance only. We wish for no reward, nor thanks from you.

10. "Verily, We fear from our Lord a Day, hard and distressful, that will make the faces look horrible (from extreme dislikeness to it)."

11. So Allah saved them from the evil of that Day, and gave them Nadratan (a light of beauty) and joy.

12. And their recompense shall be Paradise, and silken garments, because they were patient.

13. Reclining therein on raised thrones, they will see there neither the excessive heat of the sun, nor the excessive bitter cold, (as in Paradise there is no sun and no moon).

14. And the shade thereof is close upon them, and the bunches of fruit thereof will hang low within their reach.

15. And amongst them will be passed round vessels of silver and cups of crystal,

16. Crystal-clear, made of silver. They will determine the measure thereof according to their wishes.

17. And they will be given to drink there a cup (of wine) mixed with Zanjabil (ginger, etc.),

18. A spring there, called Salsabil.

19. And round about them will (serve) boys of everlasting youth. If you see them, you would think them scattered pearls.

20. And when you look there (in Paradise), you will see a delight (that cannot be imagined), and a great dominion.

21. Their garments will be of fine green silk, and gold embroidery. They will be adorned with bracelets of silver, and their Lord will give them a pure drink.

22. (And it will be said to them): "Verily, this is a reward for you, and your endeavour has been accepted."

23. Verily! It is We Who have sent down the Qur'an to you (O Muhammad ) by stages.

24. Therefore be patient (O Muhammad ) and submit to the Command of your Lord (Allah, by doing your duty to Him and by conveying His Message to mankind), and obey neither a sinner nor a disbeliever among them.

25. And remember the Name of your Lord every morning and afternoon [i.e. offering of the Morning (Fajr), Zuhr, and 'Asr prayers].

26. And during night, prostrate yourself to Him (i.e. the offering of Maghrib and 'Isha' prayers), and glorify Him a long night through (i.e. Tahajjud prayer).

27. Verily! These (disbelievers) love the present life of this world, and put behind them a heavy Day (that will be hard).

28. It is We Who created them, and We have made them of strong built. And when We will, We can replace them with others like them with a complete replacement.

29. Verily! This (Verses of the Qur'an) is an admonition, so whosoever wills, let him take a Path to his Lord (Allah).

30. But you cannot will, unless Allah wills. Verily, Allah is Ever All-Knowing, All-Wise.

31. He will admit to His Mercy whom He will and as for the Zalimun, (polytheists, wrong-doers, etc.) He has prepared a painful torment.


I feel safer that way

As you grow older, you tend to reserve a lot more to yourself. You tend to not show yourself much. You tend to, choose only a selected few to have that chance to really know you. Why?

I was walking back to my room in KL from my faculty, when around me were a bunch of my coursemates, walking along as well. Right there and then, a thought crossed my mind. There they were. People whom i've been with for the past 3 years. There they were, and i dont even know who they really are, whats their favourite colour, or what they are like. There they were, and they don't know ME, and how I am, or how i'm really like. 3 years ain't a short period of time, and yet neither of us could find the time to get to know each other more. With that thought, i plugged both of my earphones into my ears, and parted away from the group.

Perhaps its my fault. They seem to get along well together, with each other. It is only I who tend to mind my own business. Perhaps thats the fault. I tend to mind my own business, too much lol. But then again, if i were to give another shot at this, something tells me i wouldn't be doing things any differently. Pity me, call me arrogant for always being alone here, but i just find it more comfortable to be that way. It didn't happen this way because people couldn't accept me or anythin, or i hated anybody, it happened this way because I chose it to be this way. I chose to part. I choose to be alone :)

There were people who'd come up to me and ask, why do i do these things alone? Well, aside from me feeling it to be more comfortable being that way, i guess i just want to get use to the idea. I wanna keep reminding myself, that hey, i can handle things alone. I dont really need to depend on anybody. I wanna get use to not have expectations on things i dont have control on. I wanna get use to not asking people for help. I wanna get use to the idea that i myself can make me happy if i want to. Coz if your happiness depends on the doings of any particular person? You're in huge trouble my friend. HUGE trouble. And i dont wanna be in huge trouble.

One of my ex-es used to say, that he feels safe when he's alone. Better yet, he feels much closer to Him when he's alone. Before meeting this ex of mine, i never really appreciated the meaning of depending on myself. Instead, i used to depend on people to make me happy. I used to think that these people around me, are the reasons why im content, and i haf nothin' to do with it. I never really understood how he could feel safer when he's alone. Or how he could feel at company by being alone. Oh that boy totally showed me what he meant by it alright. He showed me and gave me a strong reason to be that way. And i can't help but to admit that he is right. Being alone does make u feel secure. Being alone makes you feel, stronger.

Sometimes, all the company you need, is yourself. And i find it rather important to make yourself reliable towards yourself. I think its important to make yourself a support system that you can trust. That you can rely on. Because people? They come and go. And your heart? It tires. It feels exhaustion. It feels hurt. We need a plan B. This is our plan B. This is my back up plan.

As you grow older, you tend to reserve a lot more things to yourself. You tend to keep things to yourself. You tend to not show much. You tend to choose only a selected few to have that privilege to get to know you. Why? I tend to be more reserved now than ever because i seldom find a reason not to be that way now. It makes me feel invincible, like i dont matter. And i like it to be that way. I feel safer that way.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Being There

After living for, at the very least, 22 years, you'll come across so many lessons that you couldn't help yourself but to stumble upon them the hard way. Sometimes, it'll take awhile for you to understand why they happen that way. Sometimes, these are the lessons that'll stick with you the most.

I've experienced many of those. And when i say many, i mean many. Maybe that's what life is about. Maybe thats why you're given so many years to live, so that you'll have time to understand things the hard way. So that you'll have enough time to embrace the meaning of it all. So that whatever happens to you, it'll stick, and it'll make you LEARN. For the past 5 years, i think Allah has made it purpose for me to see how His presence matters the most in any case. And how His presence is most promising. And i had to learn this, the hard way.

Eversince i was young, i've always held on to people's words. Always. Like say if my dad tells me, he'll be buying me the lastest version of tamagotchi tonight, i'll be anticipatin' on it. I'll be looking forward to it. I'll be hoping for it. I'll be sitting by the door, waiting for him to come home late at night, just to have a fast glimpse at his hands for a toys r us bag. Many of times, i get disappointed. There'll be no bag. Just a handful of emptiness. If only the things i hope for remain as just that latest version of tamagotchi.

Whenever people say, they'll be there for you, always.. or that they'll be doing things for you, regardless of how much he or she says they love you, regardless of how you'd wanna hold on to his or her words, regardless of how you wanna believe it, lemme just save you the hurt and be frank with you on this. Nobody in this world can ALWAYS be there for you. Nobody except for two. Allah. And yourself. Not me for you, not your family, not that lovely boyfriend of yours, or that beautiful girl friend of yours, not your bestest friend in the whole wide world. Its just you you yourself, and Allah. So to be safe from hurt, have that space for yourself. Have that space and hold back. Let it be your harnest.

"But that would just seem like we dont trust our love ones. Arent we suppose to trust our love ones? Arent they there to be trusted? Arent they suppose to love us unconditionally, and because of that, we should take their words?"

Cruel? hahaha fuckin' hell, stop bein' naive and smell the effin' coffee. This is one of the hardest facts in life, and you deal with it. At the end of the day, these people? They wont feel your hurt. Sometimes, they wouldn't understand you wholly. Nobody can understand you wholly. There are certain parts of you, nobody can breach. You know that. I know that, and thats another hard fact. You're wholly understandable, true, but by different people, of different parts of you. And only two who totally understands you, yet again. Allah and yourself. And plus, you should be lovin' them unconditionally as well. Tak begitu? huhu

Being this way doesn't mean that you dont love these people. It doesn't mean that you love them any less. Its because you love them, that you hold back. You're making yourself not easily hurt by these people, and thats a very good thing, dont you think? Less fights, less quarrels, less expectations, less false hopes. And you're being this way because you love yourself. And its very very important to love yourself.

This thing goes both ways. Nobody can ALWAYS be there for you.. and YOU can't ALWAYS be there for anybody. It sounds amazing, kan? To be promisin' to people that you'll always be there for that particular person, but you and i both know really well that we can never always be there for anyone. Even if we choose to, we just can't. Its not part of our capabilities to do so. We're not God. I seldom give out promises like these. I used to, when i was a naive lil girl. When the world seem black and white to me. But i'm no longer colourblind now. And havin' to learn certain things along the way, i know deep down in my heart that always being there for a particular somebody is impossible.

So, now what? Well, when you're not happy with the view outside of your window, open the front door, step out, and embrace the fresh air. Lets look at it in a different way. See, its not about ALWAYS being there for someone. Its not about the amount of time spent. Its about what they do when they're there for you, or when they can be there for you. Its about what you do when you're THERE for someone, or when you can be there for someone. Thats what matters. And thats what you should hold on to.

My dad might have not brought me that tamagotchi that particular night, but he's the first one to sense if there's anything wrong with me, even without me telling him. This bestest friend i used to have once might have not chosen her bestfriends over her useless ex-bf, but she has showed me and inspired myself to believe in myself like nobody else i know, can ever haf such an impact on me.

I've always said to myself, there's always two options in life. And one of them has that potential to make you happier. If you can see life in two ways, why choose the hurtful option when there's one that'll make you happier? Sometimes, these options aren't so obvious, but thats why learning has to be the hard way. Thats why God give us time, and that is to find that other option. To find the answers.

Simple enough, no? haha life is simple that way. Its just not easy, perhaps. But its simple.

Friday, September 23, 2011

You're Wrong Son. Jyeaahhh!!!

If y'all think i've lost the niggah side of me with wif all these brit white ass tunes, three words foh ya mofos. YOU'RE WRONG SON!!
hahaha enjoy! :)

1. One Chance - Gold Digger

2. Young Steff - Body That

3. J. Blue - Love is a miracle

4. Jackie Boyz - Wash My Hand

5. Jackie Boyz - Greatest Lie

6. J Blue - Bye Bye Bye

7. Ryan Toby - Wish It Wasn't me

8. Unknown - Die in Your Arms

9. Unknown - Yes or No

10. One Chance - You're My

Thursday, September 22, 2011

If not now, when?

I have waited
Dined on ashes
Swung from chandeliers and climbed Everest
And none of it's got me close to this

I've waited all my life

If not now, when will I?

We've been good

Even a blast, but
Don't you feel like something's missing here?
Don't you dare

I've waited all my life

If not now, when will I?
Stand up and face the bright light
Don't hide your eyes
It's time

No umbrellas

No sunglasses
Healing [hearing?] Hallelujah everyday

I've waited all my life

If not now, when will I?
Stand up and face the bright light
Don't hide your eyes
It's time

Samlyn Patch

This is my lover boy, Sam hehehe Its been 6 years since the first day we met at ASPCA.. and eversince then, he has captured this particular piece of my heart and has never returned it back lol. He's just the most perfect significant other i've ever met so far. Doesn't really hafta say much really, all he needs to do, is to just hop on me tummy, and sleep there, and that'll wash all my sorrows away. I love this cat. So much. May Allah bless you always, Sam. You've helped me in ways nobody else could, and i'm just thankful that Allah has given me the opportunity to haf you around.. :)

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

First attempt!

So i was conversing with one of my loyal readers, and he pointed out an obvious fact which i didn't quite have the time to realise until it was pointed out. And he was right, it sure has been awhile since i give my blog them longgggggg posts i used to write. He said i've turned to become more poetic instead lol. Am not sure if thats a good thing, or a bad thing, but the fact remains solid and true, it has most definitely been awhile. Truth is, i think i've lost that mojo i had in writing posts as such. Or haven't I? i dont know. I'm pretty much, confused! But i'm eager to find out the answer though, and so let this post be my first attempt at it! Wish me luck :P

First impressions can be very deceiving, you know, and i've been witnessing a lot of that lately. One of the most prominent cases would be of this particular girl. I didn't quite have THE introduction when i was introduced to her at first. Considering the stories i've heard about her, and how she's on the bad side of someone who's very close to me, i was introduced to her with a very unpleasant feeling. Even before she could say a word, i was all set to make her as insignificant as possible in my life, and that she would never matter to me in any way. Or at the very least, thats what i thought. Of course, after that, she eased in, and i did see her good sides, yet i was still firm with myself that this girl was the girl that made my closed friend uneasy, and she can never be more than that

Only later in life did i get to know of all these random act of kindness she loves to do huhu. Things i've never heard anyone else, regardless of how nice i feel that person is, do, unlike this particular girl. I was told that whenever she's at the post-office, or at any centres that would require for her to take a number, she would take two, so that when her number is called, she'll give the other number to some random old person so that he or she wouldn't have to wait that long for his or her turn huhu. When i heard this, i can't help myself but to feel surprised at first for i've never thought of doing that at all.. and then comes the guilt for thinking of her in such a way at the beginning.. and glass full of inspiration. I was inspired by her story alright, and not that many could inspire me. Not even that close friend of mine who i was trying to defend for at first. At that particular moment, all the negativity i had towards her disappear into thin air. And it got me to realise of how first impressions can be sooo soo wrong..

But the deception of first impressions aren't all as happy ending as this case that i've just told you about. Some started off with good impressions, only to end up being that effin' pain in your ass lol. Oh, i've experienced a lot of that as well. But lets keep it at that with no examples, i'm afraid itd be too obvious, and people would make a huge fuss out of it.. lol

Speaking of people making huge fusses out of something thats purely irrelevant to them, thats been happening a lot as well!!!! And i freakin'ly despise situations like that. For me, i would try not to meddle with anything thats not regarding me. I respect other people's privacy. Unfortunately, not all people are like this. Some just feels like they need to be apart of everything. Like they need to have a say to everything. Like why must you be crampin' everywhere? Create your own zone, and stay there. You should appreciate your privacy as well. Some even think whatever they say is entertaining, that it makes people around him or her happier, when the fuckin' truth is, all you do with your words is only to create more negativity. See, when you don't have anything better to say, do the world a favour, stop being so full of yourself and shut it will ya? Just shut it. Simple. Why make your life hard? Why make your existence a nuisance to others? lol. Or are you thaaat insecure to be making a fool out of people around you so you get to feel superior? Dude, if thats the case, you got problems lol. My dad told me, that when matters not regarding you comes along, when matters that share no significant value or any hint of importance to you, shove it away. Give them the wave of goodbye and continue forward. Whoever doesnt do so, they're just plain idiots, and you should not associate yourself with idiots.

Kayhh, hahaha ter-emo pulak pagi2 ni.. maybe its this hunger my tummy is suffering from at the moment lol. Anywho, i've a meeting in say 20 minutes, and i've gotta run. I guess the mojo is still in me somewhere. Perhaps all i need to do is a bit of polishing to get back on track! Woo hoo! lol.. @_@''

All your dead fury is not enough, You can't silence my love :)

I've been watching the skies
They've been turning blood red
Not a doubt in my mind anymore
There's a storm up ahead

Hello hurricane, you're not enough
Hello hurricane, you can't silence my love
I've got doors and windows boarded up
All your dead end fury is not enough
You can't silence my love, my love

Every thing I have I count as loss
Everything I have is stripped away
Before I started building I counted up these costs
There's nothing left for you to take away

Hello hurricane, you're not enough
Hello hurricane, you can't silence my love
I've got doors and windows boarded up
All your dead end fury is not enough
You can't silence my love, yeah my love

I'm a fighter fighting for control
I'm a fighter fighting for my soul
Everything inside of me surrenders
You can't silence my love
You can't silence my love, yeah

Hello hurricane, you're not enough
Hello hurricane, you can't silence my love
I've got doors and windows boarded up
All your dead end fury is not enough
You can't silence my love

Yeah, I said hello hurricane

hmmm :)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Lexy - A short piano/guitar/strings original by Me :)

So i've just bought this new sound processor thing, that makes it easier for me to mix different sounds from the Clavinova.. and this would be my first attempt with it via Cubase SX3. Its short, i know, and i'm still learning lol.. but i think its okay for a first try :) Enjoy!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

COLDPLAY!! woot woot!!!!!!!

As it is evidently proven, clearly stated of how a huge fan of coldplay i am in my previous posts, they've just released one of their singles from the upcoming album Mylo Xyloto. And this album will be out in stores on the 24th of October!! To y'all coldplay fans out there, better mark that date alright! hehehe.. Enjoy this! Totally diggin' the lyrics and the new groove that coldplay has inserted into this one :)

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
but it flew away from her reach
So she ran away in her sleep

And dreamed of Para-Para-Paradise
Every time she closed her eyes

When she was just a girl
she expected the world
but it flew away from her reach
And the bullets catch in her teeth

Life goes on, it gets so heavy
The Wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear a waterfall
in the night the stormy night she close her eyes
In the night the stormy night away she flies

And dreamed of Para-Para-Paradise

And dreamed of Para-Para-Paradise

She dreamed of Para-Para-Paradise

Still lying underneat the stormy skies
She said ooooohhhhh-ohhhhh
I know the summer is set to rise
[This could be Para-Para-Paradise
This could be Para-Para-Paradise
Ohhhh-ooooooohhhh] x2

*guitar solo*

[This could be Para-Para-Paradise
This could be Para-Para-Paradise

Monday, September 12, 2011

Its an amazing feeling really..

Its an amazing feeling really,
to be reading a scientific article,
and aww-ing at the latest discovery he or she has made,
and when you look at the authors,
they're people you knew,
whom you've worked alongside with,
whom you've learned from,
your own teachers,
your own friends.

And i'm very much proud of them.
Who knows,
you might be seeing my name as well one day.

One day :)

Baru gangsterrrr

i got this after getting myself involved in a fight
last night near chow kit...


I fell off the sink.

Don't ask how.

lol :P

Peculiar relationship

I wish i could get to know you better,
I wish i could talk to you more,
I wish i could be your bestest friend,
Be the one you adore.

Unfortunately things aren't all candy,
There's a thick wall between us,
A bloody thick wall that has been building itself,
Ever since i could understand your first words

It frustrates me really,
Disappoints me,
and hurts me.
We got time,
We had time,
But we're letting it slip.

Don't you ever wanna know about me?
Don't you ever feel like you should know?
Wait, i know you do.
I heard you did.
Yet you never made the effort to.
Am i not worth putting aside all ego?
Am i not an enough reason for you to do so?
Am i just not enough?

Perhaps it goes both ways,
Perhaps i'm not doing my share as well,
But how shall i,
you never seem to give me the choice.

I'm starting to get use to this though,
I did get use to it once,
Until i learned how much i really need you to be you,
You're the only one that i have,
And so i craved,
I hoped,
But i guess im starting to lose hope,
I'm starting to accept that certain things might not change,
I'm starting to believe that this is how we're meant to be,
I'm starting to get use to it again.

Its not that bad though sometimes,
For i tend to understand you in ways people couldn't,
I tend to defend for you in ways people don't,
And i tend to learn from you things you never really show
Maybe thats my purpose of being with u
Everything has a good side to it,
Thats what i kept on telling myself.

A peculiar relationship,
thats what we share,
Yet regardless of this peculiar relationship,
Regardless of the disappointment i feel i am towards you,
Regardless of whatever that happens after this,
I hope you know that i love you,
and i'll never stop loving you.
And i know it goes both ways.
I hope it does.

So i started off my holidays with a list of things to do

Remember this? Lol, lets see how many items that i managed to do over the holidays :)

1. Learn how to play the Tin Whistle

2. Catch an Irish musical show, live

3. Reach the top of The Great Wall of China and yodel lol!
( I totally forgot about this when i reached to the top of the wall :( )


5. Jog along the shores of Portrush :)

6. Go bike riding

7. Learn how to ride a motorcycle :D
(Soon!! SOOON!! lol Syamillllll!!!)

8. Master one classical piece, FULL, with the guitar

9. Go Fish Spa-ing lol
lol perhaps i'll get back to this one of these days :)

10. Prepare for my thesis, and the practical research

11. Bungee Jumping

12. Go on another hike, oh i miss hiking!

13. Go ballin' like the old times

14. Jog along the gates of Buckingham Palace, Westminster Hall, and the Big Ben in one route


16. Paint :)

17. to witness a shooting star

18. Learn how to strum!

19. Cook (Dang, haven't done this in a while lol)

21. Create the requested piano tutorial which i've been postponing for too long

20. Make full use of the holidays and enjoy every bit of it

22. hmmm.. :)
CHECK hehe :)

I'd say that didn't turn out so baad..
as a matter of fact, not bad at all lol
Goodbye holidays! We shall meet again real soon :)