Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Plain. Ordinary. Everybody finds comfort in normality, in being, NORMAL. I guess its coz you won't stand out that much, people won't notice you, and you'll be safe from God-knows-what, or at the very least, thats the idea. Sometimes, people suppress their true personality because they want to be normal. Ada yang sampai tak makan sbb nak kurus, since thats NORMAL. Newsflash number one, only stupid ass freaks do that. Newsflash number 2, nobody is normal ANYWAY... But hey, if you're happy with suppressing urself that way.. Then be my guest, go all NORM inside out you want. Ain't gonna get in the wayy haha :)
But see, here's a shout out for those of you who feels like they wanna be different, who wants to BE themselves and BE HAPPY about it. Here's to those who feels their lives are plain boring, but yet kept on getting the notion that there aint much they can do to their lives to BE at least a lil bit more interesting. Newsflash number 3, THERE IS A LOT OF THINGS in this world that you CAN do, and don't give me the 'i-hav-no-time' excuse. You will always HAVE time for the things that you WANT to do. You just gotta want it more.
You're only plain because you think you're plain, (chey, macam a motivator la plak HAHAHA but what the heck, im trying to knock some sense into youss out there haha). Life, is a broad platform, filled with opportunities here and there. You think your life is boring? SPICE. IT. UP! Have no time for that? MAKE TIME. And you don't have to start with something bombastic, try the small things first.
Ask yourself, whats the smallest thing in life, that you can do within the time you have, simple, and at the same, make you feel more of yourself, confident, and happy? For me, its as simple as a smile. Let yourself go, and smile awayyy! Smile to any random person haha and trust me, u'll feel free. The main door to the pathology lab at HUKM was locked today, and i had to try a new route to get there. Yes, i got lost. And then, i passed by this tall guy who was quite smart looking, and i simply smiled. He smiled back, and that made me feel.. good and happy somehow. Two days back, i was in the bus looking out the window, and there was an indian who randomly waved from outside. I excitedly waved back, not because i was flattered or anything, but to make that particular moment funny and memorable, just the way i like it to be HAHAHA yea i'm weird, and I love myself, thank you :p And that dude, laughed and gave this sincere smile back hahaha Random, small, but it made me feel wonderful.. and feeling wonderful is exciting hahaha and thats what we want!
Here's another one. Ice cream.. hahaha ice cream always makes me happy. Fat. BUT HAPPY, ALWAYS. And from a busy day at work, to indulge yourself with good ice cream, gives your life a new shade of colour :) These things yea, they may seem simple. To some, it may seem plain, but who cares what others think, i know it aint plain, not to me haha and thats what matters. Like i said, you're plain because you THINK you're plain.
On weekends, set the notch up one level, and try something self-satisfying. Throw yourself out there, and try something new! Go random. I've made a small list of things that i wanted to achieve last vacay. The things on my list have always been on my lists of things to do for soooo longggg.. YEARS. But i didn't have the guts to actually do them until recently. Lately, i've been treating myself better, and because of the list, i actually went kiting, watched an orchestra, go to the zoo (SERIOUS BERTAHUNNNN dah nak pegi zoo ni hahaha), i painted, caught an awesome soccer match walaupon esok harinya dah start kat HUKM pukul 8am hahaha saw big bird! Hahaha went for a theater, ice skating, archery. oh i went hiking, went for random events, camping. I was busy. But i made time for it all. You may have a set of different things that you'd like to do like to go for a conference, or help out at the old folks home, or a kindergarten. Have a chat with an old friend, go for a gig, go scuba diving, or on a volcano trip. Anything!! Set small goals, and that way, you'll achieve more :)
When it comes to self image, only one opinion counts. YOURS. I've had friends telling me i look like a nerd, that im fat. True. I do look like a nerd. I AM A FUCKING NERD hahahha and i am fat. But, so what?? Acceptance issue ke? Ala, bullshit la semua tu. You want people to accept u, u gotta accept urself first! And i've made peace with myself not being skinny, alhamdulillah. Org lain ada problem with it? U guys can take a walk and have a good journey! :)
I'm happy with the way i am. No, i'm not perfect, but i know Allah has given me everything that i need to bring myself here in this world for Him, and i humbly am thankful for all of that. Trust me, He has given u everything to be happy about. So stop nagging, and LIVE. Where there's a will, there is always a way. And you are, whomever you believe you are. Don't like yourself? Make a change. and please do it now, for time is not of our control.. huhu :)
Monday, December 27, 2010
I opened the door and i saw two girls with a box of sandwiches
I wondered what sandwiches were they..
and then the Two girls with a box of sandwiches started to blabber:
wochong chengchong chingdachong
chengchong.. wo chongchingcaa
ching chang chongg... chang.. TUNA!
ahh.. tuna sandwiches..
"Its alright girls, some other night! :)"
ps: I have loads to blog about. But my life's been quite busy lately. Will do when i have the time fer sure!!! lol. Just so i won't forget what to blog about, Yasmin, 1st day at HUKM, a recap of 2010, and what to look forward to in 2011, ohh and... HAHAHA toodles~
Monday, December 20, 2010
by skipping the first class of the day.. I kinda overslept... HAHAHAHAHAHAH but oh welll... I managed to catch the 2nd class of the day tho, lol, which was alright.
My first words this semester were,
"OH MY, she cut her hair agaain!!" in this all bubbly tone, only to be reminded by the funny gazes i get in return from people around me that.. me being all bubbly in UKM, AINT THE USUAL YASMIN UKM SCENE.. I'm more of the dormant type, who just smiles away, and whispers her thoughts.. HAHAHAAHAH Haidir calls it "the other side of me".. Man, i guess im still on holiday mode... SHAAIIEESSHHH.....!!! But ya know, its about time UKM gets ta know how Yasmin REALLY roll.. no? lol :D
First book i borrowed from the library?
Atlas of Pathophysiology, which has all these cool drawings with colours and stuff. Vondurfull zindiiid.. hahahahahahaha
First food i had at the cafe?
Wanted to try the new jumbo hotdog, but i was fasting... I was thinking of losing weight again ya know.. Start my daily jogs again, eat appropriately. All the happiness ive been getting during the hols brought along some unwanted friends who just loves me soo much that its soo hard for them to let me gooooo.. i know im hostile.. but there are a lot of bony ones out there that you guys should be lingering on.. like... MY SISTER!!! YES!!! hahahhahaha love you Aisyah :P
First song that I listened to on the bus to get me going?
Mi-A-Mi to I-BiZa.. by DA Swe-Dish-HouSE-MuhFI-AAA :D
First thing i learned?
The pathophysiological mechanisms of Marasmus, Kwashikor, and Diabetes.. Which was fun considering i didn't sleep at all through out the whole lecture! YEEAAYY!!! :D :D :D
Today ain't that badd... Alhamdulillah :) oh and i had a whole lot of sushi for dinner.. HAHAHAHAHAH so much for wanting to lose WEIGHT! mehh... ;)
Friday, December 10, 2010
Me: Ayah, ayah cakap, you're good at reading one's character. What do you see in me?
Ayah: Kau ni, macam ayah la kot..
Me: In what wise?
there was a moment of silence, and then the both of just cracked up and laugh hahaha :P
If you ask me to name one person i admire in this life, it would most definitely be my dad, and yes, he's the one in the picture lol. Setting aside the fact that he is my father and that he loves me a whole lot (I love you, too Ayah :) ), he himself has a lot to be admired about. A kampung boy from Bahau who ended up roaming the whole wide world. And when roaming the world, i don't just mean Paris, New York, London, Abu Dhabi and all those tag named cities others usually dream of going. Add in there Mauritius, Peru, Zimbabwe, Macedonia, Africa, Bosnia, Sham Al Sheikh, Mexico, Moscow, Berlin, Athens, and a whole bunch of other places.
So we had the father- daughter talk yesterday, which lasted till 1 in the morning lol, and apart from that short conversation i showed you above, he also shared me his experiences. His Bosnia story is my favourite. He went there, Sarajevo to be exact, 2 weeks after it was under siege by the serbs. When they landed at the airport, the terminal was no longer there, walls of ruins were full of bullet holes, and pieces of debris were just, everywhere. They were greeted by their 'shining chariot', which was a tractor yang angkat pasir untuk buat rumah tuh, to transport them from the landing area to the gate of the airport, along with the luggage. No need of stamping passports, immigration check, no, nothing like that.
So there was this one fine day, where my dad decided to walk back to his hotel after he covered a conference. He was actually advised to not do so, for there were still a lot of mines that has yet to be taken out of the ground by the french army. But knowing my dad, he went for the walk anyway. He passed by a soccer field, where a bunch of teens were playing soccer. As my dad sat on the steps, drinking his mineral water, the kids looked at him, and more of his mineral water lol. They went up to him and asked for a sip, and my dad decided to give the whole team the whole bottle. One of them sat next beside my dad, and they chatted away.
That place was a valley. And the Serbs' way of attacking the place, was from a higher ground, and they would just shoot down at them. So what these people did to avoid getting shot was, they would pile up sand bags as a barrier, and would live on the other side of it. This boy said, at night, you can hear bullets breaking thru the sand bags, like the sound when you poke a needle into a float.. huhu..
One day, his mom asked his younger brother to fetch water down this alley, at the bottom of this hill from their house. And his brother went like the mother told, with a pail in one of his hands. A few hours later, the lil brother didn't return, and when the boy who was chatting with my dad searched for his lil brother, he looked down the alley, and saw his lil brother on the ground, with an abandoned pail at the tips of his fingers. Not moving. Dead.
The saddest part was not that, but the few hours after, of strenuous effort from the lil' boys family, trying to retrieve the body with a long stick, from the alley.
And here we are, whining for things we can live perfectly without, taking our comfort for granted. With leaders debating over the wrong things, putting effort into petty matters, fighting for visions not even half of the nation understands, or wants.
Looking back at history, our glory moments would always be when difficulty swarms us. Wars, failures, bad grades, detention lol. That's the good side of reaching the bottom of the sea, coz when that hits you, there's no other way but to go up. But getting the urge to go up is the hard part. Knowing us humans, no drive, no go. No need, no effort. Bila dah tak boleh bernafas, baru terkial2 nak naik.. hahaha biasa la kan? So putting yourself in difficulty is a good thing in a way? I guess. But kalau ye pon la kan, please let it be for the right reasons, reasons worth while. Jangan laa sebab benda2 kecik, yang ntah pape2, we lose our homes, our dignity.. I wudnt wanna be losing even my cat over some idiots who misused their authority.. oh wow, macamane boleh merapu sampai sini? lol
ANYWHO, so that's my dad's Bosnia story. Gaining experiences like these would be my personal treasures to seek in this world, and i envy my dad for just that. My dad feels the same way, too. He can't imagine a life of going thru documents from 9 to 9 everyday, 6 days per week, even though it'll earn you big bucks. I guess I am like my father. In what wise? hmMmMmMm :) hahahahahah! :P
Thursday, December 9, 2010
And now that i've gotten my result transcript, that wraps up my 5th semester :) 5th semester, course wise, was not that hard, BUT there were a whole lot of work, a lot of assignments going on, presentations, errands.. the looong hours in the lab, the group drama.. By far the most strenuous, ass whoppin', hell of a semester i've ever had, and they say next semester would be even WORSE. Oh boy, i'm. So. Looking. Forward. To. IT @_@'
5th semester as a whole? Total shit dip on top of a lovely piece of a triangular nacho. It started off with a whole lot of spirit. I was soo pumped up! And i had a journey to the past, where i became this old part of me for awhile which i haven't in a loong time. Became the president of my department club, became the captain of my basketball team, and became someone's girl. Towards the middle was where it started to taste all shitty hahaha Screw bein' someone's girl, that totally fucked up, BIG TIME. Being captain was not bad, and we got 2nd place. Awesome! :) And i'm still the president of my club, which i can't wait to let go. I started to play around just to feel good again, not taking my course seriously, skipped A WHOLE LOT OF CLASSES, and then during the finals, i watched more of 'Friends' than my lecture notes HAHAHAHA im not even kidding. But as it got towards the end of the nacho, the crappy taste wore off, holidays kicked in, and i had a blast so far. A total blast. Saw things, felt things, experienced things that just opens my mind. And with the surprising results i just got yesterday, alhamdulillah syukur sangat2 this chapter ended the best way :)
I'm all up for the 6th semester alright, truthfully speaking, i can't wait to get back to class. I'm gonna be on top of my game insyaAllah. SO long 5th semester, and all that was with it.. Thank You for droppin' by, you have taught me soo much.. :)
is the ability to love Allah,
their family, friends, and other people around them.. "
(ps: I took the picture myself.. hahahahah cool KANNN!!! :P)
at THIS very moment... coz or else the song wouldn't be playing as we go thru this. I know RIIGGHHHT, i'm such a genius, thank you for no-ti-cinnnnn..! (hahaha :P)
who pays attention to all the details including the songs!
or you could also be just an 'Inception' freak too..
If you're number three, and you feel like you couldn't connect to anyone about this, well, today's your lucky DAYYYY, ET has finally found HIS home alright, COZ I LISTEN TO THEM TOOO!!!! Awwwwwww *hugs* you're the friend ive been waiting to HAVE!!! HI FIVE sistah/brotha from another motha!! hahahahaahahaha (yyeaahh, I haven't had my lunch..)
at the side bar, or the vid below which is the laamest assumption on the list.. pfftt.. But hey number 4, don't lemme steal your thunder, i'm proud of ya. You can REALLY READDD hmmMMm :D :D
CORRECTO MUNDO, congraatulations-O guys! The track that should prolly be playin' as this goes, is from Inception. Composed by Hans Zimmer, and its called 'Time'. Another movie i had to watch twice at the movies this year.. Most def the MOVIE OF THE YEAR. Beat Harry and that skinny vamp right in the ass by a gazillion times, make no mis-TAKE about THAT! lol.
I love this soundtrack, its just pure genius. Imagine getting the chance to watch this song being played on stage, LIVE, WITH Hans Zimmer.. oh Wow.. *waterworks* hahaha.. To those who aren't into soundtracks, i hope you'll at least find value in this one. It has motivated me in so many ways.. Make dreams you wanna achieve, seem very possible you know. Kicks your imagination to work haha :) Bukan nak berangan, bukan nak leka.. but to initiate. to spark. To ignite an idea..
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
would most definitely be none other than, sounds.
I guess that’s pretty much obvious, no? lol
From the sound of raindrops tapping on your window seal,
to the sound of a fan spinning in an empty room,
to the sound of police sirens dwelling in the night,
a slight pull of a cello’s 3rd string,
the clinging sound of keys as they’re being pulled out of a bulky handbag,
to a baby’s giggle as it warms the room,
the slurring of a teacup getting filled by hot, warm strawberry flavored tea,
A mother's hum as she knit her daughter's pink muffler,
the synchronized stomping of marching boots as soldiers march their way to war.
voices of debating opinions as they're being thrown out in the open, boldly,
the rush of air as an old man breathes it in ever so deeply,
and then breathes it out for the last time..
they paint a picture no colour can,
express thoughts not a language can interpret,
Project vibes and feelings
I witnessed an orchestra, live,
for the very first time yesterday,
with a really good friend of mine
who's the closest person i've met to like the same so called 'boring' songs i listen to,
and classicals apparently lol.
I've always wanted to watch one,
Ever since I started listening to Vivaldi,
and that was when i was 8 lol,
and 13 years after that,
I got my chance.. lol :)
The experience was by far,
the best i've ever encountered when it comes to music.
I was nearing to tears when the strings hit the first few bars of the first symphony,
and the both of us couldn't stop smiling through out the whole performance,
which lasted for 2 hours.
Yes, my cheeks ached just because of that,
but it was all WORTH IT! hahaha
Getting to hear the sounds of each instrument being played,
harmoniously, as the musicians' hands moved and their heads swayed to feel the music,
with such synchronicity was one thing,
but being able to see these musicians playing their heart out,
passionately, and really telling the world that THAT's what they love to do,
was just.. full of energy,
And i couldn't have invited any one better than whom i have,
as he, too, appreciated the whole thing as much as I did,
He, too, had aching cheeks for smiling too much lol :P
Thank You for the most wonderful company :)
Saturday, December 4, 2010
and you were to meet with yourself,
would u wanna be friends with yourself?
I've been asking people around,
of their first impressions of me..
I wonder what my first impression of me would be..
Apparently, most of them take me as this rich kid,
who's all prim and proper,
couldn't take the wilderness,
nor a lil bit of roughness..
and not to forget, nerdy as well
Oh and one who travels overseas a lot
Would i be seein' the same things?
Well, first of all,
HAHAHA I WISH
Prim and proper?
man, who'd wanna be all messy neways? huhu
couldn't take the roughness?
SALAH SALAH SALAH hoho
a bit.. okay, maybe not just a bit haha
Yea, im not wild
not by coincidence..
So no, i'm not THAT naive..
Travels overseas a lot???
I've been to places, yes. But i don't get to go out a lot..
its not even an annual thing..
unless if you count in Singapore,
which does NOT count in my world.. haha
Friday, December 3, 2010
most def diggin' the song:)
To Build a Home is the title of the song, in case if you're wondering. And its by The Cinematic Orchestra.. Look at all the flamingos.. hmm :)
By far, the best piano cover of a song i've ever watched on youtube.. If only i could play like thaaat.. :)
Explosions in the Sky is def one of my fav postrock bands.. and look at all those Hot Air balloons go.. hmm.. i'd love to ride on one one day.. :)
annnnd this.. by far, THE BEST VID i've ever come across.. i'd love to go here before i die.. and the song.. brings tears :(
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Here's a list of highlights that happened during the trip, just so i won't forget the good and bad memories of it all in years to come :)
- Din, Chaiyok, Kiren, Bad, Ayap, Audrey, Najwa, and Izzati :)
And believe me, they're all awesome :)
Din, to me, was like the head of the group. He does dirty jokes quite a lot, and people may not take him seriously by mistake, but he's not just an empty shell alright. I believe he's been through quite a lot in life, and ive never met neone who knows that much when it comes to surviving skills, and i respect him for that :)
Chaiyok, would be the guy who taught me how to make good tea hehe. I didn't get to talk to him that much tho, but i know he's a sweetheart. You can tell :)
Ayap is my coursemate, and i'd be seeing a lot of him later lol. But i never knew he was this bubbly. I've always thought he's the quiet type who wouldn't mingle much, i was wrong :)
Kiren. Tukang masak mee goreng dari Jawa hahahaha! Ni lagi sorang, tak boleh blaa.. But most definitely a jolly fellow :)
Bad. Bad is just plain lovely.. lol He's that innocent, nice type at first sight kinda guy, but once triggered, can show one or two fangs somewhere hahaha but he's nice, and he hikes super FAST!!! oh and he appreciates beautiful earthlings and plants like i do (^^). It was a delight hiking with him, i had someone to be all excited with whenever i come across a cool looking plant :)
Audrey! I sooo admire her spirit for adventure. She just got back from a trans hiking trip a week before we went for Berembun, imagine that! I learned a lot from her as well, And somehow, she seemed like the eldest sister in character in that group when actually, she was the youngest hahaha. Macam kakak, and i respect her for that too :)
Izzati :) I see her as this girl with a huge heart, who came to make new friends :) She projects a warmness where you can help but to feel comfortable whenever you're around her. And i'd say she would be the one who accomplished the most during the trip, considering her knee condition and all. Respect babe, and i'm totally proud of you as well :)
Najwa!! ehehe believe me when i say this, if she didn't come along, I don't think i'd have even half as much fun as i did. She was there for me through it all, especially after i've sprained my ankle.. Terharu :(( hehehe
So to all of you, thaaank you soooo much for everything! And sorry sgt2 kalau ada salah silap apa2.. oh i miss Berembun sooo much.. :((
The first time i sat my eyes on this waterfall was in the bus, on our way to the recreational center. At that time, i thought it seemed small hahaha coz we were from a distance, and considering the optical illusion effect, yadayadayada.. But when we actually got there, masyaAllah... It was, by far, the largest waterfall i've seen, LIVE. Boleh nangis kot.. But believe me, this was not the best scene of the trip. 2nd best, perhaps. Ha, ada view lagi lawaaa, which was our campsite kat puncak Air terjun Langsir.. huuu.. gilaa rindu. Duduk dekat batu yang betul2 bawah air terjun tuh, rasa dia.. wow.. huhu it just fills your heart up with lost feelings.. :)
When i first heard that there weren't gonna be any real toilets, it got me all nervous. No, i wasn't afraid about it not being hygienic, but more of me not doing it right, and get the 'product' (HAHAHA) on to unwanted places. Lagi kene baju yg stock limited tuh.. aishh risau weyhh.. :P So i had a plan. To try my best NOT to do business hahahaha which obviously didn't work lol. Yea, i went naturale a few times hahahhaa i can't believe i'm blogging about this.. but believe me when i say, there's nothing like going all natural. feeling diaa.. puas dia.. laaain dow! hahahaha So to those first timers to be (cheyy), jangan takot2! Bedal je.. hahaha kalau tak, rugi :D
Haaa.. mana nak dapat kerapu sweet sour tgh2 hutan, 3/4 of a mountain? tapi dengan kami, semestinya boleh!! hahahah yea, we brought all the ingredients with us, and cooked by ourselves. Yes, dgn kualinya, periuknyaa.. gilaa best :) This was our dinner at Kem Y, courtesy to Din and Izzati :D We had nasi impit and kuah kacang for lunch, army style! haha nasi goreng the next morning, tomyam ngan nasi for dinner, and bee hoon for the next day.. Eating and enjoying the food was one thing, preparing them was another.. hahaha best laa.. :)
which i've blogged about already and wish to leave it at that.. haha but seriously, i finally felt at peace with myself, like im in a certain space where it was just me and His wondrous creations surrounding me. Later that night, i laid down on the rocks coz my butt started to ache for sitting too long haha.. and i just gazed at the broad sky, glittered with blinking stars.. it was just, mesmerizing and hypnotic.. huhu.. :) I wish i had captured a picture of that moment..
It was raining so badly that evening when we reached our campsite on top of the Langsir waterfall. I was shivering like maadd.. hahaha dah laa baru mandi sungai kat atas tuh. Once our fly and ground has been set up, Din suggested that we should go take our bath. And yes, it was still raining. But so what.. we went anyway, and port mandi tuh is on the other side of the river, so there were minor crossings here and there. Mind you that i am slippery-rocks phobic hahaha yes.. they scare me like zombies! So i was pretty slow whenever i have to walk on them, or take a leap land on them.. While taking a conditional bath haha, people started screaming to head back to the campsite. Air dah start naik!! ye la, pasal hujan lebat semuaa.. bukan takat naik je, deras pon bley tahan gakkk.. mmg i kinda panicked jugak laa.. and while i was crossing one of the smaller streams, my slipper slipped of my foot, and went down the rocks.. hmmm.. mula2 tu dekat je, and i could just grab it.. but i hesitated due to this prominent phobia of mine.. and pasrah je laa.. so yea, down the step of stones it went.. i'd like to say, happily.. hahaha najwa lost her slipper the same way, too. Minutes before i lost mine.. hahaha tak bley blaa.. :) Oh Bo's periuk floated the same way jugak the next morning, but sempat diselamatkan hahhaha sedey jugak laa slipper hilang macam tu, but it was kinda funny too in a way.. ;P Above is a picture of the route my slipper took as it went down the waters hahaha :P
So i was going down the hill, joyfully, la la laaa~ kelepak!!! I landed on a bended ankle @_@.. At first it seemed like a simple slip, and i thought i'd be okay. But when i tried to stand up again, it started to sting, and i knew it was not good sign.. :( Which got me walking with a stick through the rest of the journey. Dah laa time tu turun, laagi putting more pressure on the ankles.. huhuhu but Alhamdulillah, ada beberapa org yang datang tolong.. antaranya anip, audrey, and najwa. Thank You korang :) and in a way, it was a blessing in disguise, i've never trekked with a stick, like Yoda and his wooden cane hahaha..
Yes, this is Sungai Bongok. Came across this while we were hiking down the mountain. See that cliff on your left? Well, you can actually jump down from there. Okay, mind you that it was actually high, nampak macam rendah and kecik je kan? don't be deceived young readers! hahaha There's a story behind this Sg Bongok. An incident? lol. So i reached here a bit late, after i sprained my ankle and what not, and the moment i set my eyes at this beautiful place, the Uniten dudes were already starting to jump off the cliff. I struggled like mad to climb down from the rocks, to the river. But i managed it, put my bag aside, and sat on the river rocks with Najwa, as i witness the fun of jumping off the cliffs which i knew, with the sprained ankle, i couldn't participate. I looked at Najwa, and I knew she wanted to try as well. Mawi came and joined us while supporting my leg. He's a cute tart haha.. and i persuaded Najwa to try. I felt bad she didn't wanna try coz she feels bad about my leg. I mean, you're there already, i wouldn't want anyone to be missing out on the fun just because of me ya know. So Mawi and I pushed Najwa to try, Mawi panggil Din, and that was all it took hahaha din datang, tros tarik Najwa naik, and she jumped! Hooooraay!! or at least happy was what I felt at first when she agreed to it. But then.. envy swarm over... jealousy.. and just pure sadness!!!!! coz i wanted sooo bad to jump as well!!! hahahhahahaha i know, macam bengong kan? I even cried!! Mawi was concerned, and he thought it was my ankle hurting.. and i said, "No.. aku nak terjun!! huu huu huuu.." hahahahahhahahaha! Now that i think about it, mcm kelakar gilaa plaakk.. And you know, i'm glad i cried coz then Mawi started to persuade me.. and pushed me.. and in the end, i actually went!!! Sakit? i didn't feel THAT at all!!! not until i returned from the jump that is haha, and tros kaki saket balek hahaha.. but ya know, at that particular moment, when i was in the waters after the jump, trying to swim up for air, i felt sooo focused and.. free.. huhuhu masyaAllah.. rasa dia lain.. huhuhu.. :)
I came with a wrecked heart. Broken. Empty. Lost (gosh, all the depressing words! :P).. And no, it wasn't broken just because of a guy okay. It became that way because of how disappointed I was with myself. I didn't like who i was this past few months, didn't like what i was doing.. Missed the old vibrant me. But after this trip.. it made me feel warm again. Focused. Determined. Loved. Im more of myself, now that i've been reminded of who that was, is huhu. I needed this. And its funny how it came to me at random, and out of my comfort zone. Alhamdulillah, the whole trip went awesome. I wouldn't say it was perfect, or else it wouldn't be real lol. But it was def more than the better i could ever asked for. To new friends, i'm sorry if ive ever made u feel uncomfortable in any way. I didn't mean to. and Thank you to everyone who was involved with this trip, directly or indirectly.. Grateful for it all :)
ps: And i've picked up a new hobby, hiking! :)
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Rapunzel's so nice, i had ta watch it twice! hahahhaha :P and so i did, but with a different crowd instead. One thing i love about the movie was its songs.. The lyrics to them just crack me up haha. But i personally love the healing song. Its so haunting, and hypnotic. Couldn't get the song out of my head, and so at 2am in the morning today, i made a cover of it HAHAHA! Oh cut me some slack, i couldn't sleep.. lol. Ive attached it to this post, and should be posted above this paragraph... Can you see it? Can you? Can you? lol. There aint much difference with the original, considering covers are suppose to be different, but this was just out of total randomness and i felt like singing the song haha.. Give it a listen if it doesn't trouble u lol.. enjoy!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
I dont know what i want to be when i grow up,
(chey, macam belum grow up je haha! :P),
I dont know with whom i wanna spend my whole life with,
(org semua dah nak kawen la, tunang la, but aku batang idung org tu pon tak jumpa lagi huahuahua),
I dont have any desires to possess anything,
(ramai dh start save tok beli rumah la, kereta la, itu, ini, and aku still save untuk beli buku, DVD, jalan2, makan best2.. hmm haha)
All the uncertainties,
the 'whats next's,
utterly a boggle one has yet to make peace with..
hmmph..there's a lot of things that i do not know
what i do know tho,
is at this very moment,
I have time.
My own time to explore
At this very moment,
its GAME time
and what i really really want right now,
is not to settle,
not to be stagnant and all stable..
I want to roam the world.
See His wonders,
I want to be shaken,
be moved by the things i see,
inspired by the things i hear,
heartfelt by the things i feel..
call me immature for not wanting to settle,
tell me im delusional for taking it all as an adventure,
I dont give a shit..
Coz it aint gonna stop me anyway ;)
Have you had moments where you wish you could just rewind and replay it over and over again?
It has been awhile since I last had those kind of moments.
But one visited me, recently.
And it was surely, by far, the best night I have ever lived to see in my whole entire life.
It was the 2nd night of my hiking trip, where our campsite was situated on top of a huge waterfall.
It was a night that was roofed by nothing but swift cotton smeared clouds and blinking stars,
Lighted by the moon’s gleam
as it ignited the forest’s glow,
guiding the straits to its huge fall..
There on the cliffs of solid huge rocks I sat..
while dipping my feet into the crystal fresh waters
as gravity pulls the water down the steps of rocks
creating a rush
like cars chasing one another..
I was accompanied by a new acquaintance
and we chatted away into the night
about the life we’ve gone through..
How it was
And how we want it to be..
I barely know this guy, but at that particular moment,
I couldn’t feel anymore comfortable talking to anybody else..
At that particular moment,
I was surrounded by His wondrous creations,
In such a perfect arrangement that only He was able to pull it off..
And having me in the middle of it all empowers my heart to finally feel worthy again,
A moment of sincerity and simplicity
And that was all it had to it..
Now that im grounded again to the realness of my life,
Thoughts of that night still lingers at the back of mind,
Whispering its beauty,
Drilling a new longing into this heart..
It was sad having to part from it..
But for it to happen brings more gladness,
As it made it clear that whatever I had to go thru these past few months,
I was able to bounce back..
Im still able to bounce back Alhamdulillah..
And im so grateful for just that.. :)
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Songs tend to bring up your deepest memories to its every detail kan? No wonder Neyo can't listen to love songs when he got all heartbroken haha newho, coldplay's "Warning Sign" has always been on top of my song list. Maybe i should make a cover of it one day, and spoil yer ear drums.. yes.. that sounds fun.. hahaha :P
Sometimes when you look at others, and at how happy they are, you'd think to yourself, haish, if only i can be that happy.. Does that happen to you? It happens to me all the time hahaha. But, truthfully, what do you know? Their life may be as shitty as yours, you just don't see it.. A friend of mine once told me, you may think the person next to you is happier, but really, they are going thru a hard time too, you just don't know it.
But why fret when life gets tough? Endure it. And thats when your adventure becomes a wonder. ~monotone dalaman: dgr tu yasmin.. hahaha! I'm about to leave my comfort zone for 5 days in a few hours time. Yup, its hiking time!! lol. And i know i'll be missing home a lot, my family, my laptop, oh INTERNET :((((( Food network channel!! :(((((((( hahaha but i kinda need this. I need to be far away from my comfort zone.. closer to nature.. to His wonders.. because i feel.. empty. I miss Him.. huhu a lot. Yes, i'm not really all happy, bubbly, and cheerie.. okay, maybe i am.. haha but.. like i said earlier, someone who seems happy aren't always as happy as they portray themselves to be..
I have a lot installed for me in the next 2 months or so. I have awesome people around me. I can finally see where i'm heading towards, alhamdulillah.. What more ta ask kan? But at heart, there's something missing. I feel drifted, and afar from purpose? I'm still quite lost. Oh yes, i think too much perhaps. It has always been my noted disease hahaha.
But see, i've always told myself, that life.. is a journey, not a destination. And thats how i'm treating my life. I have expectations, goals, true. But theyre not my destination, they're just pit stops.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
and then whats next..
Berangan di pagi raya, batang idung orgnya pon tak nampak lagi..
Tapi kan, i'm more excited to be a mother than being someone's wife..
I think i can settle having a kid without a guy supporting me..
afterall, guys are all the same..
and plain.. boring..
hahahahha toodles! :P
Monday, November 15, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Mr Daly once told me, that the knowledge we have with us now, is only 0.1% of the things that we know is out there. And what we know is out there but we don't really really know about it is only 0.01% of EVERYTHING that is REALLY OUT THERE.. which gives us an approximation percentage of 0.99% of things that we don't even know they exist! IMAGINE THAT huh?? (oh yes, geeeky mode is blinkin' ON at the moment hahaha :P)
So for all of the things that we do know of its existence, say if these statistics of Mr Daly's are accurately correct, 0.9% are of the things that we know is out there, but we choose to not really know about them. Now, would that be because its out of our capability to do so? or that we just simply choose to be ignorant about it? I would say its a bit of both, but more on us being ignorant lol no? :P
They say, ignorance is a bliss. Oh i would have to agree. Here's a simple daily example. Its Sunday, you wake up in the morning, give out a hell of a yaaawn, and while rubbin' your eyes, the sound of birds swirls into your ears, and you thought to yourself, "ahh what a beautiful morning" lol.. all of a sudden, mom starts yelling from downstairs, of this list of instructions for you to do through out the day while she's out.
Right at that moment, you know you have two options. One. Be caring enough to get up, open your door, and respond back a, "Apa dia ma?", and you'll have your day all planned out.. whoopey.. pfft hahaha OR. Be ignorant, and act as if you didn't hear anything.. Your mom leaves home thinking you heard what she said, when you actually didn't, or choose not to (don't worry, your secret is safe with me haha! :P). And you have the whole daay all to yourself! :D :D A bliss i tell you.
Sometimes, you can't help yourself but to BE ignorant. There are certain issues which i would love to know, but i just couldn't find myself caring about them.. ya know? Say like politics, or the stock market, or the economy.. lol. I admire people my age who can talk about it, who can give an opinion on it. I admire how these people can indulge or find them interesting. I know I should be like that, too. Heck, these things affect and will forever affect my life. I should at least care to know.. But sadly, regardless of how hard i try, i just.. can't... yea, i'm the daughter of the editor to one of the top business newspapers in this country, and i don't have a single financial notion running through my veins. hahaha.. Sorry Ayah :P
But then, up to what point are you gonna stay ignorant? huhu.. A question, i myself, have yet to answer lol. Its not like i didn't try, i diddd!!! But it just, urghh.. we're just not meant for each other i guess?? lol.. But i love people explaining them all about it to me. Oh yes. That, i like. But for me to seek information on my own... hardly to happen! hahaha I guess i'd have to find a partner who's in the know about these issues.. and he can fill me in about it like for bedtime stories or somethin'.. awwww how sweet hahahahhaha!!!
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Baseball used to be one of our daily evening games back in New York. We'd gather at this small park beside our residence pool, and coz we didn't have proper bases, we had to use them metal sewer covers as bases lol boy, they were slippery, slipped on it like a gazilion times! lol Oh i miss the good old days huhu.. But considering i was 11 at that time, one thing that i couldn't do, was to hit the ball high.. lol.. I kept on hitting it to the ground. Either that, or i'd tip it.
And so today, i've set my mind.. to accomplish what i couldn't do before.. and that is, to hit the ball HIGH hahahaha and HIGH they all went alright, my first few initial-invisible balls that is hahahaha i kept on swinging into thin air, and didn't hit nething!! Annoying! hahaha but then i started to get a hang of it, and THAT is when you just couldn't stop ya know?? lol..
But they were still quite.. low.. and so this friend of mine decided to make things interesting, set a specific mark for me to pass, declared free McFlury up for grabs, and voila.. i started to swing em highhhh or like they say, out of tha park!! hahahaha chey, prasan je :P Food can never fail to motivate me. TRUE FACT!! HAHAHA :P