Tuesday, December 27, 2011

I've come home



Sleep don't visit, so I choke on sun
And the days blur into one
And the backs of my eyes hum with things I've never done

Sheets are swaying from an old clothesline
Like a row of captured ghosts over old dead grass
Was never much but we made the most

Welcome home

Ships are launching from my chest
Some have names but most do not
If you find one, please let me know what piece I've lost

Heal the scars from off my back
I don't need them anymore
You can throw them out or keep them in your mason jars

I've come home

All my nightmares escaped my head
Bar the door, please don't let them in
You were never supposed to leave

Now my head's splitting at the seams
And I don't know if I can
Here, beneath my lungs, I feel your thumbs press into my skin again


Sunday, December 25, 2011

Being vain once in awhile wouldn't hurt..

So I was pretty bummed out for having to spend my ‘Christmas Holiday’ tomorrow with a bunch of needles and rats (don’t ask what I’ll be doin.. But I’m pretty sure pinky and the brain ain’t gonna like it hahaha :P).. And I was browsing thru my previous posts which I gotta boldly admit that they’ve been quite depressing and serious lately.. haven’t they? Like.. whatever happened to the fun and crazy side of Yasmin??? Well, she’s still here alright.. stiiiiilll here! And tonight, to kill the effin’ boredom, that side of hers felt like vain-ing. Most probably not a sight most of ya’ll would wanna witness, but hey, its my blog… So fuck y’all haters out there coz I don’t give a shit.. Merry Christmas!! PUHHHEEACEEEE!






















Good to know i can still make myself happy all on my own... alhamdulillah! :)

Friday, December 23, 2011

Don't ever remind me..

It's only love,
It's only pain,
It's only fear,
that runs through my veins..

Its all these things that i can't explain
that make me human..

Sunday, December 18, 2011

.

Memang tade gunenye gaduh ngan orang bangang pagi2 ni.. ;)

Friday, December 16, 2011

~Come on skinny love, just last the year..




Come on skinny love just last the year
Pour a little salt we were never here
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

I tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Right in the moment this order's tall

I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
In the morning I'll be with you
But it will be a different "kind"
I'll be holding all the tickets
And you'll be owning all the fines

Come on skinny love what happened here
Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Sullen load is full; so slow on the split

I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
Now all your love is wasted?
Then who the hell was I?
Now I'm breaking at the britches
And at the end of all your lines

Who will love you?
Who will fight?
Who will fall far behind?

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Words


Words,
Like knives, they are.
Knives that can slice you into pieces,
silently with their swift movements
without you even noticing that its happening,
only to feel the pain right after,
and be left dumbfounded of how it could pain you in the first place.

Words,
Like fuckin knives, they are,
They're like knives, and all of us know it.
All of us had a taste of it at some point of our lives,
or perhaps ALL points of our lives,
we know it, yet we ourselves use them obliviously.
What the fuck is wrong with us?



A random moment


And so,
I walked in the rain today.
Alone and torn,
I walked in the rain without a concern.

And its of these isolated moments,
Thoughts,
flashes of past memories,
they came knocking down the barriers of one's mind.

Rain was never a problem in Coleraine,
We walked in the rain everyday Najwa and I.
We walked in the rain everyday and we got used to it.

Its a miracle, the works of adaptation, really.
Imagine life without adaptation,
We humans would perish at the slightest of conflicts.
Perish and can never stand back up.

Imagine life without adaptation,
You and I,
we wouldn't be here.
We wouldn't be walking down streets
because there'll be people walking against us,
We wouldn't be exploring the world because its not pavement-ed like the floors of our homes,
because at some parts,
you'll find grass,
You'll find grass
and you'll freak out,
At some parts,
You'll find sand,
At some parts,
You'll find mud that snuggles your feet an inch deep whenever u take a step in,
You'll find all sorts of surfaces,
You'll find all sorts of surfaces but you can't adapt.
And for not being able to adapt,
means not being able to tolerate,
it means to not have that space to accept differences
and without tolerance,
we can never move forward.

We live in a diverse world,
Each and everyone of us,
We're meant to be different from one another.
Situations are meant to be different from one another.
If you're hoping for everybody to be just like you,
to think just like you,
then i suggest you live on an island,
where population is 1,
where everybody,
is you.

But if you're thinking of living in this world,
Instead of fighting diversity,
You embrace it.
Instead of fretting how life constantly changes,
Learn from it.
Learn from these changes.
Adapt to it,
conquer it,
and make it YOUR scene.
Accept the fact that people do things for their own reasons.
And don't just learn of the things they do,
Have that space to understand why.
And you'll find answers that'll make your heart grow stronger,
and your mind grow wiser.

I remembered a significant person in my life,
One who pulled a stunt that shook the world.
A stunt that set a barrier between the past and present.
And unfortunately, i was part of the past.
And uptill today, people ponder on why,
people assume, and talk like they know everything.
As their eyes blared and their mouths spat in motions of confidence,
they talk like they know everything,
I tend to talk, too.
But really, deep deep down,
i believe she had her reasons.
Reasons we may not understand,
Reasons that made her choose the life she has now,
and that would give her the future she's meant to have.
And i believe it'll be a bright one for her.
I miss her very much though.

I walked in the rain today,
alone and torn,
and i keep walking.








Sunday, December 11, 2011

Phases of life


I believe,
that every time you go through a phase in life,
you'll be making a discovery about yourself.

These phases,
like jigsaw puzzle pieces,
they'll be adding themselves to your picture,
revealing whats truly you the more you experience them.
uncovering your true colours,
discovering who you really are.

And while they build you,
You'll be meeting people along the way,
other people who's with their own incomplete portrait hanging around their necks,
trying to find those out there,
who can understand them,
who can accept that incomplete picture,
who can interpret it for them,
make sense of it for them,
just like you with your own incomplete portrait.
And the key of understanding,
is to have certain pieces that could connect with one another.

To find someone that has enough pieces to understand you and accept you,
takes a lot of mathematics.
Allah's mathematics.
One that factorizes time,
differentiates experiences,
multiplies desire, feelings, and passion,
and divides principles, and faith.
The kind of mathematics that our brain cannot even begin to ponder the works of it.

And to have actually found someone along the way
with enough pieces to understand you,
and accept you for who you are,
even if its a temporary thing,
is truly a blessing.
Making everything that you've been through,
worth it.






Katy Perry's The One That Got Away - A Short Piano cover by me :)




personally like the original video to this particular song. I find it rather sad and moving. And i felt like making a cover for it has been awhile since my last cover, so i decided to do one on this! :) Perhaps i couldve done better, but i hope this will do :) Enjoy!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Acclivitous - An original by Me with strings and guitar this time around :)



Hey you guys! :) I was inspired this morning, and managed to come up with this! The sync of the guitar is a bit messed up, i know, but i didn't feel like recording the guitar again, so i just made use of what i already haf lol. Enjoy!

ah yes, thank you 19, for the title suggestion :)

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

#3

To those who have been following, these numbered posts are meant for my children, yes.. haha There was #1 and #2 previously, and i've written #3 but i decided to move all of them to a blog of its own so that it'll be easier for people, (my future children especially, insyaAllah), to read hehehe very considerate kan? I know :P If you're interested, you can read #3 by clicking on the link below.. If you're not, i shall bid you a happy life ahead.. :D Have a lovely thursday, peeps!

Here's the link to it: meeneyfique-ii.blogspot.com. Enjoy! :)

Let me tell you something about courage..


Let me tell you something about courage..

Courage..
It ain't just about being strong,
It aint just about being tough,
It ain't just about being brave..

Its also about being humble,
humble enough to admit to your own weaknesses,
acknowledge that they exist,
and give space within yourself to let them grow,
grow into a sculpture of art to be appreciated,
a scripture to refer..

Its also about being fragile,
fragile enough that you allow a particular something to mean a whole lot to you,
a particular something to shine so significantly within your heart,
a particular something for you to hold on to,
for you to believe in..
for you to have faith in,
up to a point where
you'll fight for it with all your heart,
stand by it with all your strength,
regardless of what happens..

It is also about acceptance,
accepting the fact that hey, perhaps we might be wrong,
accepting the fact that everybody is equal,
with equal rights,
everybody deserves to be heard,
to be considered before being judged by us,
everybody deserves a chance
and it is not of our power to take all of that from them,
unless if they want us to.
But really, whatever for?

Its also about having fear,
fear that you might not get what you want,
fear that your life is without purpose,
and that you don't want that to happen to you at all,
Its about having fear,
and recognizing it
so that you'll be able to adapt.
So that you'll be able to face it.


Its also about being able to love yourself for who you are,
love yourself for who you are not,
embracing the differences that you have in you if compared to others,
the differences that are not meant to be despised by you,
but instead, to be embraced,
for thats what will set you apart from the crowd,
and thats one of the reasons why you are here.
You are here to be different.
That's just who you are

Let me tell you something about courage..

Being at the front line of a war doesn't make you courageous enough,
its the reason that brought you to the front line and standing up for this reason
that marks true courage,
and only a courageous person would admit to his reasons,
understand them,
and believe in them..
with all of his or her heart..

:)





Tuesday, November 15, 2011

20 things you didn't know about sausages


So yea, i was reading my most favourite magazine EVER, DISCOVER.. and i came across many interesting things as always (DISCOVER has yet to fail me lol), and when i say many interesting things, i do mean MANY. Oh and by the way, this is about to be one of my geeky posts that i think has been MIA for quite a while.. not sure if thats a good thing, or a bad thing lol.. but yea, im just giving y'all a heads up. Very thoughtful, i know lol. So to those who are not into it, can skip this lol. Nah, i'm not offended, it ain't my loss anyway :P

For example, do you know that Virgin airlines is actually on its way to provide the first commercial space travel service? They're calling it Virgin Galactic. And they've actually come up with the craft design for it. Heck, its already being built and going on test runs as we speak, with more than 440 customers plunking down deposits for a seat to board this spaceship. For those aeronautic-maniacs (i know ONE in particular lol and i hope he's reading this :P), do check it out :) Imagine telling your kid one day, "We ain't goin to Disney Land this hols, kids. More of like to the freakin' moon. WHOOPEY!" haha and thats somewhere around the corner folks :)


And do you know that they've actually come up with a synthetic version of a spider web that is tougher than steel fiber? Ideal for tendon replacements, sutures and lightweight textiles. Imagine what we can achieve with such a discovery. And they produce it via the well known cloning technology that we, biomeds, kept having to memorize every freakin' term, by inserting the spider web gene into our fav bacteria, E.coli. How amazingly simple is that? Which got me into thinking, discovering something magnificent doesn't really have to start from a bombastic idea. Sometimes, these little thoughts, these what seemingly small ideas at first, these whispering intuitions can actually bring you somewhere :)

There was also another article, that spoke of our subconscious mind. And if you've been reading and not skipping my geeky posts, u know how im well intrigued by the wonders of our minds lol. It was interesting. It stated of how and i quote, "you are not consciously aware of the vast majority of your brain's ongoing activities," and here's the interesting part "-- nor would you want to be aware of it, it would interfere with the brain's well-oiled processes" haha and its true! For example, the best way to get out of breath is to think about your breathing.. Imagine if we're well aware of our diaphragm and external intercostal muscles contracting while wanting to take a breath, imagine us HAVING to be well aware of it in order to take a breath.. sheeshh, i dont think we can even sleep! huhu Sometimes, our unconscious mind tends to know better, and certain things are best being done naturally. I've always believed that unconsciously, i know more than i think i do hahahaha! And no, ni bukan nak sedapkan hati or anything ehh.. baik sikit.. hahaha. For example, have you experienced a moment where you're given a question, and optional answers, and somehow you believe strongly that A is the answer, like your heart is screaming out A A A A, but you can't seem to figure out WHY you're telling yourself its A.. lol.. have you? I believe that our mind tends to connect things unconsciously, creating a logic that we've yet to assess. Like our motor functions.. Our brain coordinates in its own ways, creating a fluid motion, that our mind can never assess specifically at that particular moment. Only centuries later after Adam took his first breath, did we really figure out the mechanism of it all. Now take that logic, and apply to strings of knowledge and intelligence that we acquire everyday. Imagine the connections that are already there but are yet to be known. And imagine if we can enhance these connections thats creating itself, imagine the amount of logic we'll get in the end, imagine the things we can do huhu wow.

And of course, nothing excites me more than food lol which brings us to this article that i feel like sharing with yous out there :P "The 20 Things You Didn't Know About Sausage" by LeeAundra Keany.

http://discovermagazine.com/2011/sep/20-things-you-didnt-know-about-sausage
here's the link to it. Enjoy!! :D

Monday, November 14, 2011

When words fail to describe a feeling, and a song can.



If my core is to sing,
it'll be along these lines..
like a soft whisper,
humming a sacred vibe

and in the midst of its singing,
your words of that particular night
will rewind itself,
again,
and again,
and again..
reminding me
of whats needed to be reminded
so that i can get through this,
and not be left disheartened

and now,
its not sad.
My heart is not sad,
Not anymore.
It has finally ignited.
After months,
Its finally inspired.

And I'm grateful to Him,
for sending me His best help
for sending me a miracle,
for sending u

and i dont think i can ever thank Him enough
:)

Friday, November 11, 2011

Perfection


Perfection is impossible,
and yet people crave for it,
people crave for things to last,
people crave for this so called everlasting sense of happiness,
have you ever wondered why?

It ain't like we've experienced it before in this life to crave for it,
it ain't like things are perfect in this world,
things are never perfect,
they never last either,
and yet its like we know how it feels like,
and yet its like we know how perfection is
and we want it so badly..

and its like,
we're used to it..
we're used to perfection,
we're used to things to last forever..
and we're so so used to it,
that when things don't turn out perfect in this world,
that when things don't last forever,
we break.
we break like our heart has been torn,
like this one true hard fact that was once carved in our hearts had to be erased,
that it becomes so hard for us to accept imperfection,
accept temporariness.
Have you ever wondered why?

They say listen to the heart,
and what we feel deeply,
it never lies.
We crave for perfection and forever
because we were used to perfection once,
we were used to things lasting forever,
its because we were once from a place of perfection,
a place where nothing can go wrong,
where perfection is an effortless occurrence,
that just flows naturally.
and we belong there.
That is our true home.
That is our everlasting perfection that we crave for so much in this world,
everlasting assurance,
comfort,
peace,
an everlasting perfection that can never exist here.
and because of that,
truly we don't belong here.
here, is just a junction,
a labyrinth,
a maze.
A thorn-full maze that we enter blindly,
get scarred so badly,
with only a map of hope,
a lamp of wisdom,
and a shield of faith.

And one day,
we will exit this maze,
leaving our existence like it was a speck of dust,
floating in the blowing wind.
We will exit this maze,
hoping to find home.


So its not a matter of perfection being impossible,
for we had a taste of it once,
it just doesn't exist here,
it belongs elsewhere,
and apparently
so do we.





Monday, November 7, 2011

A Casualty

Too close to see so much in love we stop breathing
Sweet history ain't enough to keep my heart beating
So many tears for you I sacrificed
Too many lies for you I justified
How can you stand there sayin you know who's to blame
How can you act like everything is OK?

It's cold in here

And my heart still wants you to hold me,
baby
You never here
But when you with me I get so lonely

I see you talking but your lips don't make a sound

You see me crying but my tears don't hurt you now
How can you stand there sayin no one's to blame
How can you act like everything is OK?

Don't tell me you love me
Then put a gun to my head
And say I'm not trying, oh
Don't tell me you want me
Then come to my bed
And pretend we're not dyin'
One of us has gone to be
One of us is gonna be
A casualty

Breathe in, breathe out,

Defeat that doubt
Over and over again
I stand there, too cold,
Remember and I'd fall
Over and over again

One of us has gone to be

One of us is gonna be
A casualty


Friday, November 4, 2011

hope


"But that's all right,
sometimes,
sunlight
comes streaming through the holes"

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Basketball for the past 6 years.. :)






















I love this game,
regardless..
:)

Mylo Xyloto OUT!!!

To y'all Coldplay fans, its freakin' out!!! Yup, their latest album hehe. I know i'm like 2 weeks late perhaps, but whatever it is, its out. Does any of you feel like doing charity? If so, you can start by buying me one of these haha! Sure has been awhile since i own an original, authentic CD :( (bukak cerita sedey haha).. And the album cover is so cool. Here are a few tracks that are on the album. Coldplay is just like THE BEST BAND ever.. :)















Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Laughter we never faked :)

Everyday there's a thousand things
That somehow pass us by,
Got to cut through the noise
So you can know what love sounds like
I'm comin' to your frequency,
To 106 point me
So there's no
Distractions

Take a breath
Take it in
Love has no expiration date
My heart will always beat for you
At a constant rate
It will outlast everything
you think is set in stone
It goes on and on and on and on,
On and on and on and on...

Everyone is looking for a special connection

But it's like your compass points
A million directions
Do you need me to buy you
A telescope so you can see
How good
This could be

Spastic like
Neon Lights
Can you feel my love?
Loud and clear
Pulls you near
Can you feel me love?


We got all the memories
So much more we can see
Better than our first kiss
Snow falling at Christmas
Like sleeping in on Sunday
Laughter we never faked
Bob Marley in Summer
One love for each other

Oh it feels like...


Fireflies

Day and night
Can you feel my love?

And I'll wait for you
As long as it takes
Until I get through
And it hits you right in the face

Can you feel my love?

Can you feel my love?

~ 19 :) ~




Friday, October 28, 2011

Do you know that feeling?

Do you know that feeling?
The one where you want something to happen so badly
You get yourself prepared for it
Put everything else aside,
But in the end,
It does not happen,
and its because of something you can't control,
its because others just dont choose to play that part you want him or her to play,
and it just does not happen?
And when you tell people,
they'll go, "Dont worry, mesti ada hikmah"..
True.. mesti ada, and even you know it,
but u can't help yourself but to want to slap that person's face
for being so optimistic,
and feeling good,
when at that freaking moment,
you can't feel as good as that person..
And whatever the hikmah is,
that bitter feeling of wanting to just throw everything around the house
is still there.
Burning.

Do you know that feeling?
Where you tell yourself that its the little things that matters,
So just be happy with it,
but when LITTLE things do start to matter,
some just ticks you off,
and how you wish it to not matter so much to you,
how you wish you can be composed about it,
but its too late,
coz it all matters now..?

Do you know that feeling?
When you're so assure about something,
like so sure!
like you KNOW you like the colour green,
and all of a sudden,
the next morning you wake up,
green seems dull and boring,
that assurance just vaporizes itself like that,
leaving you at a state of lost,
you just lose it,
like youre floating,
and confused?
and demotivated..
and you have all this time in your hands,
to work on fuckin something,
but you dont do anything,
because you DONT FEEL like you want to,
you just DONT KNOW what exactly that you want to do,
and at the same time you're frustrated that you're wasting all this time you have...
FUCK

Do you know these feelings?
Well, I fuckin' hate them.
All of it.
Let me tell you something about me.
As much as i appear strong,
and want to believe that i am stone-cold,
and all cool and lenient..
who's jovial,
smile whenever,
quiet and composed,
crack jokes,
matured (pfftt who am i joking?)
I'm fragile.
I break.
And all this stress from practically,
EVERYWHERE..
its killing me.

Urghhh...


Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Disheartened - An original piano impromptu by Me :)



One of my darkest tunes, i'd say lol. I was just randomly playing, and this came out, hence, the impromptu part in the title :) I've been under quite a load of stress lately, and i guess this particular piece was interpreting all of that haha. Here's to stress! :P enjoy!

Crossing paths with Alexi Murdoch

Have you heard of this talented singer before? I've known of him for years, but he's been appearing more than usual in my life recently lol, his songs i mean, not him :P and so this post shall be a whole tribute to him :) I love his songs. They're relaxing, and his voice is just dope! I'm not kidding.. It gets you floating.. it really does.. especially if you're a girl hahaha! :) and it totally suits the melody that goes with it... I personally love listening to his songs while i'm taking a steady jog, or a bus ride, alone.. :) Enjoy! :)




If y'all a real steel fan, this might sound familiar :) But really, its been around for years already.. This would be my personal favourite from him :) Totally love his guitar playing huhu..




This would be about a father who has just passed away i think. I love the lyrics to it.. Felt it to the deepest core alright huhu :)



Totally love the peculiar progressions he uses in this song. It sounded weird at first, but,, when it comes together, everything just makes sense lol.. Gahh, i wish i could play the guitar like he can..



Imagine listening to this, while u're cruisin' on the highway, at night, with your window half down, and the moon shining brightly above you.. Don't forget to breathe folks ;)



This reminds me of New York.. huhu, kayh, lets not talk about or i'll get all emotional.. hahaha :)



And this was the background ending music to the movie "Gone Baby Gone", which would be personally my 2nd favourite from him :)

To those who celebrates deepavali, Happy Deepavali!!! Perhaps these tunes ain't the upbeat songs for such a celebration lol, but ah well, hope y'all enjoy them anyway ;)




Saturday, October 22, 2011

Just like glass i see right through you and your parade of excuses



How can I find you
When you're always hiding from yourself
Playing hide and seek with me
Till it gets too dark
Too dark, inside your shell
Why do I even try
When you take me for granted?
I should know better by now
When you call I already hear that crashing sound
As it all falls down

I watch your spirit break
As it shatters into a million pieces
Just like glass I see right through you
And your parade of excuses
Feels like groundhog day
You say the same things over and over
There's that look in your eye
And I hear that crashing sound
As it all falls down

It's never too late to turn it back around

Yeah I know you can
Don't bury your demons deep in the ground
When it all falls down
The only way is up, up, up
The only way is up, up

It's your love that's strong

It's the only thing that keeps me holding on
It's your heart that's weak
But it's not too weak to bring you back to me