"Its like you learn more about yourself through other people"
So i woke up kinda early, today. Glanced at my Nokia 1201 phone for the time. Took me a while to process what i was looking at, but i managed to get there lol. 5:45am. Wow. Got up, rub my eyes, and there they were. Wrappers. Chocolate bar wrappers. Not 1. EFFIN' TWO!!! A cadbury fudge, and a toffee crisps. How on earth did it....? Who ate my...?? And that was when i saw chocolate stains on my fingers..
No wonder i got up early with 'extra' energy.. I never knew you can actually sleep eat haha coz i cannot remember myself eating them. AT ALL. This is not good. I will not store chocolate in my room ever again. I should put like tomatoes, or carrots instead. Might take off some of the lense power from these orange goggles of mine.. yikes lol! and of course, the face fat... you chocolates!!!!! &#*#)*$)(*)*(#)(!!!
Todays a memorable day. Or at least it is to me. Its a day where all four of us, Elissa, Syahirah, Syakirah, and me are not within the same country! *memorable la sgt kaan hahaha*. Elissa is in Malaysia, doing her internship at Putrajaya. Syakirah is in Australia, finishing her degree, Syahirah is on a vacation to the states, and I'm finishing my internship in Ireland. Oh and Rabia is in the states too...!!!!!! I wish i could join them there after my UK trip.. oh if only they didn't need a visa, i'd fly there at an instance without thinkking twice!!!
Skyped with Syahirah for a wee bit before she left, and we were talking about this dude i met on the train back to Coleraine from Dublin. He was 32, an accountant at Caterpillar, who just got back from a Jeff Beck concert in France. I shall spare you guys the details, coz or else i'll be soundin' like a teenage girl droolin' over Justin Bieber, but in a more matured way? hahahaha okay no, i was not drooling over this dude. But the details were exciting hahaha ANYWAYYYYYYY, so i was telling syahirah about it, and after meeting this dude, it made me realise that i dont think i'll get married anytime soon lol.
Aside from my usual now-is-YOUR-time-to-shine-and-you-wudnt-be-able-to-do-much-when-ure-tied-down-with-too-many-commitments explanation, i think i find men around the age of 27 and above to be more.. appealing? lol. They're more matured that way. And its cool that when you ask them, what do you do now? Instead of saying, nah, i'm still studyin', living with my mom, and that kind of stuff, they'll be like, oh i work at so and so company, i have a house, i've been to places, and start explaining how they view the world and all that.. they know whats going on, they know what they want in life.. its so much more interesting to be talking to people like that.. And somehow, they know how to appreciate women better? Like they'd be listening to you, instead of drifting away and make stupid jokes about things. I can do jokes, i dont mind them. But sometimes, i'd like a serious talk, too. I tend to get bored easily, ya know? And guys at my age, not many can truly engage me into one of their conversations. So i think its best if i let them grow a wee bit more, get a bit more of life scarred into them, and theenn maybe they'll be more interesting.. ya know? hahahaha of course, i could just marry someone who's like 32 now, but thats where my usual now-is-YOUR-time-to-shine-and-you-wudn't-be-able-to-do-much-when-ure-tied-down-with-too-many-commitments talk comes in too hahahahha!! Yea okay, mmg tanak kawen skrang pon senanye.. tu belambak alasan hahaha..
But kan, what iff.. chey.. okayy, dah mula berangan plakkk... stop.. hahahaha i haven't even gotten to the part yang i wanted to talk about pon lagi ni.. aish teruk betul..
SOoo after i told all that to syahirah, she said
"You learn more about yourself through other people sometimes"
and that got my mouth shut, and me brain purging impulses hahaha... Its true. U do. And sometimes, you not just learn who you wanna be through others, you learn who you dont wanna be as well.
Apparently, i've been getting many visits from people of the past. not ghost of the past like the one inn them christmas movies, PEOPLE from the past. And i remembered when i was so close to this particular person, and how this person made me feel so insecure with myself. He's so well driven ya know, with big dreams and what not.. and he kept on telling me how i'm in huge trouble if i dont have any. I have big dreams, i know what i want, but when it comes to formally and specifically planing for it, random and luck would be my best friends. He did make me feel like i was a nobody. That i was not enough. And so i tried very very hard to excel his way. Looking back at things, now that i'm deciding for myself again, that i'm more influenced with my own thoughts than anybody else's, (except for my dad perhaps), i think i'm better off this way. I excel better this way, you know? I see things better. I know people around him might feel inferior just like me by that particular trait of his, but trust me when i say, everybody else's way doesn't necessarily mean its your way too :)
Been noticing other things as well, like that dude on the train. It made me realise how maturity plays a huge part to get my attention hahaha. And last evening, i chatted with another person in the past lol, and he made me realise how i'm more attached to the past PAST than the recent past.. do you get what i mean? And i think its rather apparent in this blog, too. i tend to connect things with my childhood. I wonder why. Although i do find that period to be my golden years. I love my childhood so dearly. I'd go back anytime.. huhu :')
Aye, i'm still at the lab, and its 4:18, didn't even go for lunch break. I guess sleep eating ain't really that baad.. hahaha Goodnight yous :)